<![CDATA[Sex Encounters With Money]]> <![CDATA[Braking News]]>  Changing the oil and fluids in a vehicle is always a change for the better. Dirty engine oil and transmission fluids are bad news for a car, but what about brake fluid? Many motorists know that this fluid should be topped off, but do they know if it ought to be changes?
Brake fluid in the typical vehicle can become contaminated in two years or less. This happens due to moisture absorption. Under heavy braking conditions, including mountainous or hilly driving or when towing a trailer, moisture in the overheated fluid vaporises and braking efficiency reduces.
Brake problems vary with the make, model and age of a car and other variables. Here is how to check if there is a problem:-

  1. Step off the brakes with the car's engine turned off. A soft or mushy brake pedal indicates a low or high level of brake fluid
  2. If it is safe, drive the car at a low speed, braking when needed. If your brakes squeel, you may need new pads or to clean the brakes
  3. In a clear area, step sharply on the brake pedal. If the brakes do not stop the car effectively, several things may be wrong, including worn pads, contaminated brake fluid or brake pads
  4. If brakes pull the car to one side you may have insufficient hydraulic pressure in one part of the brake system. you may need to adjust the brake's clearance, or replace the pads or rotors
  5. Begin driving forward slowly. If the brakes bind or drag, it may be due to grease on the pads or scored rotors
]]> <![CDATA[Action]]>
  1. Action creates more fortunes than prudence --- Marquis de Vauvenargues
  2. Inspiration to action is the most important ingredient to success in any human activity, and inspiration to action can be developed at will --- W.C.Stone
  3. This is a world of action, not for droning in --- Dickens
  4. Without action, a good decision becomes meaningless, for the desire itself can die through lack of an attempt to achieve its fulfilment --- W.Clement Stone
  5. Things may come to those who wait, but only things left by those who hustle --- Abraham Lincoln
  6. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior --- Henry C.Link
  7. There is less and less chance for the square peg to squeeze himself into the round hole under today's complex, fast-moving conditions; a man who doesn't know and cannot learn what he is doing and is not comfortable in his work hasn't much chance of getting off the ground, much less to the top --- J.P.Getty
  8. If you're still doing anything this year the same way you did it last year, you're behinde the times --- Anonymous
  9. I can't change the direction of the wind. But can adjust my sails --- Anonymous 
]]> <![CDATA[Achievement Quotes]]>
  • Until you try, you don't know what you can't do. (Henry James)
  • All achievement, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea ! (Napoleon Hill)
  • The men of great achievement are, and they have always been, those who deliberately feed, shape and control their own egos, leaving no part of the task to luck or chance, or to the varying vicissitudes of life. (Napoleon Hill)
  • Modern psychology now offers you a way by which you can use your intelligence many many times more successfully. By doing so you will not only conquer most of the troubles in your life, but acheive the desires that for years you have found impossible of realization. (Dr. David Seabury)
  • While it is true that you can get happiness and peace and serenity from being at the lower end of the ladder, it is also true that you can not enjoy the ecstasy of achievement. Success, in a generally accepted sense of the term, means the opportunity to experience and to realize to the maximum the forces that are within us. (General David Sarnoff)
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[Nowhere Airways]]> Good morning,everyone This is your very handsome captain Hitler welcoming you to Nowhere Airways. Sorry we are four days late in taking off but I had to do some overtime at the bakery. This is our... one, two, ummmmm.... sixth flight to New York. We cannot guarantee that we will end up in there but rest assured it will be somewhere in the East. And if we are very lucky we may even be landing exactly in New York! A real American will land where he wants to, isn't that right fellas??
    Today we have 12 passengers on the plane - which is a bit of a problem because we only have 5 seats! Hmmm. For safety reasons we will be counting all the passengers again during and after the flight. We have a very good record for safety. In fact we are so safe even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I am pleased to tell you that over 50% of our passengers end up at their destination. For those of you who don't make it, don't worry. Our staff has lots of experience consoling the next-of-kin. If however you are still worried then ask Stewardess Vampy to tell you about our out-of-court settlements. We will do everything to make your journey an enjoyable one and even a surviving one!
    If our engines are too noisy for you, don't worry, we'll turn them off! We even make your fall to earth pleasant by serving complimentary coffee during free-fall! Sadly, today's in-flight movie will not be shown because my son forgot to record it from the television. But if you really want to see a film then we will be glad to fly next to PanAm plane so that you can look at their movie through the window. Although there is no-smoking in this airplane, you may find that during the flight you can see smoke in the cabin. Don't worry your good minds over this! It is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Yes! we are very advanced at Nowhere Airways.
    Some airlines are happy to fly thousands of feet over landmarks but not Nowhere Airways! For your pleasure we try to get as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close then please let us know. Our co-pilot sometimes becomes too enthusiastic. Remember the guy who crashed before hitting the White House? Well he is the one!
    Now kindly sit on your stool and tie your belt. For those of you who can't find a belt please tie your tie to the door handle. And for those of you who can't find a stool, sit on your suitcase instead. Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cock pit. Thank you for choosing Nowhere Airways. We may not always take you to your destination but a splash in the Atlantic is guaranteed! 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Love Quotes]]>
  • Values are only measured by the importance it has to you
  • If some things are better left unsaid, then maybe they too are better left undone
  • Love is not something we find, love is something we DO
  • When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize
  • Just because something good ends doesn't mean something better won't begin
  • Those who play the game do not see it as clearly as those who watch
  • To love you must be willing to let go, to let go you must be willing to love
  • You haven't found the right person if you can live with them, you've found the right person if you can't live without them
  • It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
  • The mind is what should listen, but it is the heart that should speak
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[More Murphy's Laws]]>
  • The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was
  • Being punctual means only that your mistake will be made on time
  • Things go wrong all at once, but things go right gradually
  • It takes no time at all to break something, but it takes forever to have something repaired
  • Humans are the only animals able to retrace their steps to make the mistakes they had previously avoided
  • The greater the number of people involved in an event, the less intelligent each of the participants becomes
  • There is no right way to do the wrong thing
  • First things first, but not necessarily in that order
  • Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently
  • The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[More Marriage Quotes]]>
  • Laugh at every mistake of the other. It is much more difficult to keep your muscles tense than to relax them
  • Do not ask and do not expect too much from each other
  • Appreciate and respect each other's choices
  • Shop together, know the likes and dislikes of each other
  • Eat meals together and push something in each other's mouth (I mean some eatable ;)
  • Yes, you can love and be angry at the same time, just wink at her after the quarrel
  • Apologise when you are wrong
  • Allow yourself the liberty of hugging, touching, embracing or just pinching each other, anytime and anywhere in the house
  • Take up a hobby together
  • Express interest in the things which interest your spouse
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[Marriage Quotes]]>
  • The principal diiference between arranged marriage and love marriage is that whereas in the former love starts after the marriage, in the latter 90% of love is licked off the moon before the honeymoon
  • I am the boss of this house and i have the permission of my wife to say so
  • Age and wedlock tame even a wildest man
  • You study one another for three weeks, you love each other for three months, you fight with each other for three years and you tolerate each other for rest of the life (Andre de Mission)
  • She scolds I listen; I criticise she listens... and surprisingly... it is going on very well
  • The reason that husband and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes (Dorothy Dix)
  • Why should it be difficult to utter kind words to your own spouse ? Say it ..... say it
  • Share your dreams and confide your wishes in your spouse
  • If you want to be loved then why not start the love yourself
  • Tell your wife, "Oh you look so beautiful today"
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[Murphy's Laws]]>
  • If anything can go wrong, it will
  • If anything cant go wrong, it will
  • If you know something can go wrong, and take due precautions against it, something else will go wrong
  • When things go wrong somewhere, they are apt to go wrong everywhere
  • You never run out of things that can go wrong
  • If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right
  • When thing go wrong, don't go with them
  • Murphy's Law always hits at the worst time
  • You never know how soon it is too late
  • If anything can go wrong, it will ___ when Mr. Murphy is away. (Mrs. Murphy)
    • ]]>         <![CDATA[Time Management]]> We tend to rush and save time when we are driving from office to home only to watch a television show of one complete hour, and then we sit in front of our television set whereas our other important things are still pending. We tend to be in emergency while we are describing an assignment to our subordinate and at the same time if a friend calls from a distant place we may waste half an hour on telephone and ask our subordinate to come again at a later time.  It does not mean that one should not watch television or not talk to friends on phone but we must try and create a balance to save and manage our time. It is the most precious asset of our life.  Though we all know its importance but many among us hardly realize its value.

    Saving Time
    Time management is a skill, which we can learn only by practicing. But first we must learn to save our time. Here are some useful tips to save time: -
    a. To ensure effective use of time make a list and know where do you tend to waste your time.  A common man’s/woman's list may include: -
    (1) Sleeping at night - 8 hours
    (2) Talking with friends on phone - ½ hour
    (3) Chatting with colleagues - ½ hour
    (4) Tea/refreshment etc at office - ½ hour
    (5) Meals - 1 hour
    (6) Sleeping after lunch - 1 to 2 hours (May not be applicable in few cases)
    (7) Television - 2 hours
    (8) Some other unnecessary wastage of time at home/office - 1 hour
    (9) Using PC other than office - 1 hour
    b. In these sixteen hours, 6 ½ hours to 7 hours are unavoidable which we require for sleep.  Cases may differ person to person but so far we have wasted almost 16 hours out of our 24 allocated hours of a day.  What do you expect to do in these 8 possible hours in office and at home?   Can you give a productive time to your work or spent a quality time with your family during only these 8 available hours?
    c. Now when you have prepared your own list, you must review it and see what is justified and what is not.  You may give it to a friend to review it critically and tell you from where to save the time.  For example from the above-mentioned list you can save: -
    (1) 1 hour - From television
    (2) 1 to 2 hours - From afternoon nap
    (3) 1 hour - Unnecessary wastage of time at home/office
    (4) 1 hour - By waking up early and restricting your sleep to 6 ½ to 7 hours
    (5) 1 hour - From unnecessary chatting with friends,tea/refreshments and telephone
    (6) ½ hour - From meals
    (7) 1 hour - From unproductive time on PC
    d. You have just saved precious 6 ½ hours, you may be able to save some more time if you view your own list more critically and have a will to save time.
    e. There are many other time wasters in our life, try to avoid them. Some of the time wasters can be: -
    (1) Unnecessary traveling
    (2) Chatting on the Internet
    (3) Long discussions in the office or at home
    (4) Political/religious discussions, which serve no purpose
    (5) Unnecessary meetings
    (6) Unnecessary callers
    (7) Sitting in other's office without any justified reason
    (8) Those unfinished tasks which keep bothering your mind
    f. Saving minutes will ultimately save hours and you can utilize these hours for a substantial work
    g. Follow the famous saying, “don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today”
    h. Learn fast and effective reading
    i. Make a timetable for yourself and follow it
    j. Telephone, television and PCs are user friendly and are suppose to facilitate you. Do not let these things waste your time

    Managing Time
    a. Restrict office works to your office and do not carry it to your home. Manage your time at the office and finish your office work within the prescribed time
    b. Try to handle a letter, report or file once only when it comes to you for the very first time
    c. Do the important task or assignment first, let it not bother you all the time
    d. Write down all the things you need to do in a days work and make a plan to deal with them
    e. Spare some time for emergencies while making your plan
    f. Do one thing at a time, do not try to handle several problems simultaneously
    g. Organize your work
    h. Delegate responsibilities for various tasks to appropriate subordinates. You do not need to do a job, which your subordinate can or should do
    j. While giving a task to your subordinate be brief and to the point. Make him understand his assignment once for all. He should not disturb you time and again for the same thing
    k. Build the power of decision-making. If it is to be made by a superior officer, get it done immediately and then take action
    l. Prioritize your work
    m. Things you personally don’t like should be done first so that they do not irritate you while doing other work
    n. Make a target for a particular job in hand or any other thing you do. And finish it within the target time. For example if you want to reed a book of 500 pages you may target 50 pages a day and finish within 10 days

    Uses of Saved Time
    a. Utilize this time to plan for the training of your subordinates
    b. Do some creative work/activity
    c. Spend quality time with your family
    d. Enhance your knowledge by reading books and newspapers
    e. Learn some skill
    f. Utilize this times to think about the welfare of your subordinates
    g. Think of eradicating ills from the institution you are serving in
    h. Improve your health
    i. Work towards the greater aim of your life
    j. Do some future planning for yourself and your family

    In the fast advancing world we are racing for the best. We can progress and lead the race when we exactly know to utilize our time at its best. Time is money, an endeavor should be made to save it, manage it and spend it for a useful purpose. There are no prescribed rules for saving and managing time. Being flexible you can draw your own priorities and ultimately you will add something better to your own life. The beauty of life lies in organizing it. Use your time, “enjoy life it’s not a rehearsal”.
        
     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Top Ten Games - Last Ten Years]]> 1.    Half Life        (1998)
    2.    Star Craft        (1998)
    3.    The Sims        (2000)
    4.    Quake        (1996)
    5.    Madden NFL Football (immemorial)   
    6.    EverQuest    (1999)
    7.    Halo        (2001)
    8.    Metal Gear Solid     (1998)
    9.    Grand Theft Auto III    (2001)
    10.    The Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time    (1998) 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Top Ten Movies - 1 November]]>  1.    Saw III (2006)
    2.     The Departed (2006)
    3.     The Prestige (2006)
    4.     Flags of Our Fathers (2006)
    5.     Open Season (2006)
    6.     Flicka (2006)
    7.     Man of the Year (2006)
    8.     The Grudge 2 (2006)
    9.     Marie Antoinette (2006)
    10.     Running with Scissors (2006)

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Top Actors]]> 1      Orlando Bloom
    2     Mike Myers
    3     Will Smith
    4     Mark Hamill
    5     Hugh Jackman
    6     Harrison Ford
    7     Tom Hanks
    8     Tom Cruise
    9     Eddie Murphy
    10     Billy Dee Williams
    11     Tobey Maguire
    12     Jim Carrey
    13     Tim Allen
    14     Alan Rickman
    15     Leonardo DiCaprio
    16     Elijah Wood
    17     Owen Wilson
    18     Vin Diesel
    19     Arnold Schwarzenegger
    20     Mel Gibson
    21     Ian McKellen
    22     Adam Sandler
    23     Ewan McGregor
    24     Viggo Mortensen
    25     George Clooney
    26     Gary Sinise
    27     Chris Rock
    28     Judge Reinhold
    29     Matt Damon
    30     Joe Pesci
    31     Cuba Gooding Jr.
    32     Dustin Hoffman
    33     Vince Vaughn
    34     Brad Pitt     24
    35     Samuel L. Jackson
    36     Jack Black
    37     Tommy Lee Jones
    38     Rick Moranis
    39     Robin Williams
    40     Morgan Freeman    
    41     Rupert Everett
    42     Bruce Willis
    43     Bill Paxton
    44     John Travolta
    45     Billy Zane
    46     Macaulay Culkin
    47     Jack Nicholson
    48     James Earl Jones
    49     Joaquin Phoenix
    50     Ralph Fiennes
    51     Ben Stiller
    52     Will Ferrell
    53     Ben Affleck
    54     Patrick Stewart
    55     Michael Douglas
    56     Keanu Reeves
    57     Sylvester Stallone
    58     Bill Murray
    59     Johnny Depp
    60     Liam Neeson
    61     Mark Wahlberg
    62     Pierce Brosnan
    63     Michael J. Fox
    64     Antonio Banderas
    65     Jeff Goldblum
    66     Kevin Costner
    67     Steve Martin
    68     Josh Hartnett
    69     Alec Baldwin
    70     Chris O'Donnell
    71     Richard Gere
    72     Michael Keaton
    73     Danny DeVito
    74     Denzel Washington
    75     Danny Glover
    76     Dan Aykroyd
    77     Matthew Broderick
    78     Sean Connery
    79     Daniel Stern
    80     Richard Dreyfuss
    81     Robert De Niro
    82     Matthew McConaughey
    83     Laurence Fishburne
    84     Nicolas Cage
    85     Al Pacino
    86     Bill Pullman
    87     Gene Hackman
    88     Kevin Spacey
    89     Jude Law
    90     Russell Crowe
    91     Ed Harris
    92     Anthony Hopkins
    93     Christopher Lloyd
    94     Colin Farrell
    95     Kurt Russell
    96     Kevin Bacon
    97     Brendan Fraser
    98     Clint Eastwood
    99     Val Kilmer
    100     Benjamin Bratt 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Top Actresses]]> 1     Natalie Portman    
    2     Keira Knightley    
    3     Rachel McAdams            
    4     Monica Bellucci        
    5     Annie Potts        
    6     Liv Tyler         
    7     Cameron Diaz        
    8     Bonnie Hunt    
    9     Julie Andrews    
    10     Lindsay Lohan    
    11     Cate Blanchett    
    12     Sarah Michelle Gellar    
    13     Catherine Zeta-Jones    
    14     Julia Roberts    
    15     Jada Pinkett    
    16     Carrie Fisher    
    17     Sally Field    
    18     Shannon Elizabeth    
    19     Dakota Fanning    
    20     Halle Berry    
    21     Kirsten Dunst    
    22     Téa Leoni    
    23     Helen Hunt    
    24     Rene Russo    
    25     Kate Winslet    
    26     Jane Fonda    
    27     Geena Davis    
    28     Jessica Alba    
    29     Rosie O'Donnell    
    30     Drew Barrymore    
    31     Sandra Bullock    
    32     Tia Carrere    
    33     Julia Stiles    
    34     Lucy Liu   
    35     Kate Beckinsale    
    36     Renée Zellweger    
    37     Margot Kidder    
    38     Demi Moore    
    39     Talia Shire    
    40     Denise Richards    
    41     Elizabeth Perkins    
    42     Kathy Bates    
    43     Nicole Kidman    
    44     Queen Latifah    
    45     Angelina Jolie    
    46     Lea Thompson    
    48     Jennifer Lopez    
    49     Whoopi Goldberg    
    50     Jennifer Love Hewitt
    51     Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio
    52     Glenn Close
    53     Jennifer Aniston
    54     Jodie Foster
    55     Alicia Silverstone
    56     Laura Linney
    57     Elizabeth Hurley
    58     Ashley Judd
    59     Diane Keaton
    60     Michelle Pfeiffer
    61     Bette Midler
    62     Sigourney Weaver
    63     Laura Dern
    64     Neve Campbell
    65     Goldie Hawn
    66     Linda Hamilton
    67     Jennifer Tilly
    68     Meryl Streep
    69     Rachel Weisz
    70     Julianne Moore
    71     Tara Reid
    72     Kim Basinger
    73     Reese Witherspoon
    74     Annette Bening
    75     Elisabeth Shue
    76     Courteney Cox
    77     Kristin Scott Thomas
    78     Jeanne Tripplehorn    
    79     Nia Long
    80     Teri Garr
    81     Jamie Lee Curtis
    82     Gwyneth Paltrow
    83     Madonna
    84     Madeleine Stowe
    85     Angela Bassett
    86     Katie Holmes
    87     Kirstie Alley
    88     Kathleen Quinlan
    89     Susan Sarandon
    90     Salma Hayek
    91     Debra Winger
    92     Naomi Watts
    93     Winona Ryder
    94     Valeria Golino
    95     Jami Gertz
    96     Charlize Theron
    97     Sharon Stone
    98     Selma Blair
    99     Uma Thurman
    100     Marisa Tomei 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Love Quotes]]>  21). Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
    22). Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.
    23). The best thing parents can do for their children is to love each other.
    24). Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.
    25). To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.
    26). Never whisper words of love if the feeling is not true...Never share your feeling if you mean to break a heart... Never look into my eyes if all you have to do is lie... and never say hello if you really mean goodbye
    27). We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.
    28). Guilty is stronger than lust......
    29). Love is to give and give more and Lust is to take and take more.
    30). If you want to give everything and take everything you are lost.
    31). There is nothing called love in the whole world. It is only misguided  feelings and illusions.
    32). No matter whats the price, you cant walk away from love.
    33). 99% perspiration 1% inspiration, That's what success is made of.
    34). You really have to surrender to the love only then it comes to you.
    35). I love you so much ...it hurts...

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Facts & Myths About HIV / Aids]]>  Some Facts First :

    • Globally, more than 25 Million people have died since 1981.
    • In Africa, more than 40 Million children have been orphaned due to HIV.
    • India is the world's highest HIV/Aids casehold with 5.7 Million infected people.
    • Women represent half of all the people living with Aids.
    • African American women accounted for 67 % of estimated cases in 2004.
    • Since the mid 80's, the proportion of Aids cases among women has more than tripled, from 7 % in 1985 to 27 % in 2004.
    • In 2005, HIV/Aids related illnesses caused 3.1 Million deaths worldwide.
    • In 2005, five million new HIV infections occured globally approximately 14,000 each day.
    • About two-thirds of all the people estimated to be living with HIV reside in Africa.

     
    Two decades after the identification of HIV / Aids (Human Immunodeficiency Virus / Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome), the world is witnessing the enormous and multiplying consequence of the epidemic. The virus continues to strengthen its hold in all countries of the world. The Lack of awareness and preconceived notions regarding it can only aggravate the problem. Here are the most common myths and misconceptions that people all over the world have regarding HIV.

    • HIV is the same as the AIDS : This couldn,t be further from the truth. HIV is a virus and Aids is a collection od illnesses. Knowing the difference between the two is a very important part of understanding.
    • HIV can be transmitted on physical contact : This statement is partly true. However, it should be strictly noted that HIV or Aids is not transmitted through tears, sweat, salive, by shaking hands, sharing clothes, rooms or meals, or by nursing an HIV/Aids patient.
    • HIV only affects homosexual men and drug users: HIV can infect anyone - hetrosexual as well as homosexual men and women , babies, teenagers and old people.
    • We both have HIV , we don't need contraceptives/precautions : Not true. Experts are seeing more and more incidences of re-infection , making HIV treatment even mor edifficult.
    • People over 50 don't get HIV : Don't bet on it. People over 50 make up a rapidly rapidly growing segment of the HIV population.
    • I have HIV, I can't have children : This used to be true but not anymore. Women living with HIV can and do have families, by taking certain precautions and following some steps.
    • My family doctor can treat my HIV : Experts believe that given the complexities of HIV care , only HIV specialists should manage patients infected with the virus.
    • HIV can be cured : While many make claims of miraculous cures , the sad truth is there is no cure so far for the HIV. Be careful of quacks offering cures and miracles. If it sounds too good too be true it probably is.
    • Why don't we have a vaccine ? While progress is being made, vaccine development is not without its challenges and difficulties. Many experts feel we are still many years away from an effective HIV vaccine.
    • I have just been diagnosed, am i going to die ? This is the biggest myth of all. People are living with HIV longer today than ever before. Treatment programmes and a beeter understanding of HIV allows those infected to live normal, healthy and productive lives.


    For more information visit http://aids.about.com/cs/aidsfactsheets/tp/hivmyths.htm 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Medical Terms for Dummies]]> • ANTIBODY: against everyone
    • ARTERY: the study of fine paintings
    • BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
    • BENIGN: what you be after you be eight
    • BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
    • CAESAREAN SECTION: a district in Rome
    • CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
    • CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty
    • CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her
    • COMA: a punctuation mark
    • CONGENITAL: friendly
    • CORTIZONE: the local courthouse
    • D & C: where Washington is
    • DILATE: to live longer
    • ENEMA: not a friend
    • ER: the things on your head that you hear with
    • FIBRILLATE: to tell lies
    • GENES: blue denim slacks
    • HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
    • IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
    • LABOR PAIN: hurt at work
    • MINOR OPERATION: somebody else's
    • ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move
    • PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories
    • PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go
    • PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
    • PROTEIN: in favor of young people
    • RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula
    • RHEUMATIC: amorous
    • SECRETION: hiding anything
    • TABLET: a small table
    • TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport
    • TIBIA: country in North Africa
    • TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak
    • TUMOR: an extra pair
    • URINE: opposite of "you're out"
    • VARICOSE: very close
    • VEIN: conceited  

    ]]>         <![CDATA[One Day In Your Life - By Michael Jackson]]>  One day in your life
    You’ll remember a place
    Someone touching your face
    You will come back and look around you
    One day in your life
    You’ll remember the love you founded
    You’ll remember me some how
    Though you don’t need me now
    I will stay in your heart
    And when things fall apart
    you’ll remember one day
    One day in your life
    When you’ll find that you’re always waiting
    For the love we use to share
    Just call my name and I’ll be there
    You’ll remember me some how
    Though you don’t need me now
    I will stay in your heart
    And when things fall apart
    You’ll remember on day
    One day in your life
    When you’ll find that you’re always lonely
    For the love we use to share
    Just call my name and I’ll be there

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Thinking Of Women]]>  FINE
    This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
    FIVE MINUTES
    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
    NOTHING
    This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you  inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
    GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
    This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
    GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
    This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by  "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
    LOUD SIGH
    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
    SOFT SIGH
    Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
    THAT'S OKAY
    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done.. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
    GO AHEAD!
    At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
    PLEASE DO
    This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
    THANKS
    A woman is thanking you. Do not faint ! Just say you're welcome.
    THANKS A LOT
    This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Funny Quotes]]> 1). For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
    2). If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
    3). Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
    4). A conscience is what hurts most when all your other parts feel so good.
    5). Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away two weeks before you need it.
    6). Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
    7). By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
    8). Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
    9). Intel inside stupid outside 
    10). Chess and women...........
        chess    = Predictable
               = Logical
            = Somebody wins somebody looses
            = Rules.
        women    = unpredictable
            = No logic
            = Nobody wins nobody
             = No rules
    11). Women are all like pack of cards, you need a heart to give them, a diamond to marry them, a club to hook them and a spade to bury them.
    12). Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars, I damn care what you are.
     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 8]]> MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All of Your Power to WomenEarlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission.Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women.Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants.Another bad idea...Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!

     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[More Quotes]]> 1). Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
    2). You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
    3). Love...and you shall be loved. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
    4). All people smile in the same language.
    5). A hug is a great gift... one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it's easy to exchange.
    6). Everyone needs to be loved...especially when they do not deserve it.
    7). Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
    8). Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
    9). For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.
    10). Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are. 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 7]]> MISTAKE #7:
    Thinking That It Takes Money and Looks.
    One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age.And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet...And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys.YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome.Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[16 Ways To Propose Her]]>   Just some funny ways to propose her/him ............ (at your own risk!!!)
    1.
    (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
    "You're under arrest!"
    (Girl : For what?)
    "For stealing my heart."
    2.
    Hi, my name is Chance,
    Do I have one?
    3.
    Are your legs tired?
    ( girl: Why?)
    because you have been running through my mind all day!
    4.
    "I lost my phone number,
    can I borrow yours?"
    5.
    Can you give me directions to your heart?
    I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes
    6.
    (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket,
    She would say,"What are you doing"
    respond, "Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven."
    7.
    (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
    "I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are."
    8.
    Is it hot in here or is it just you?
    9.
    Walk up to a guy and say:
    "Are you from heaven?"
    "No" he answers. "
    Oh, I thought all the angels were from heaven"
    10.
    I could be born in your eye,
    run down your cheek,
    and die on your lips.
    11.
    Did you know they changed the alphabet?
    They put U and I together.
    12.
    Are you lost?
    'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
    13.
    Do you believe in love at first sight,
    or do I have to walk by you again?
    14.
    What's that in your eye?
    Oh...it's a sparkle.
    15.
    Do you have a map?
    I just got lost in your eyes.
    16.
    You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 6]]> MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
    Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION.
    You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on?
    Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
    Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around?
    Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
    But it's not an accident.
    You have to LEARN how to do this.
    And ANY guy can learn how... 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Tecnorati]]> Technorati Profile]]> <![CDATA[WWW ? 5]]> MISTAKE #5:
    Sharing “How You Feel”
    Too Early In the Relationship with Her
    Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
    Attractive women are rare.
    And they get a LOT of attention from men.
    Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME by men.
    An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
    And guess what?
    Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
    That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
    They know what to expect.
    And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
    This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
    Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
    There's a much better way...

    ]]>         <![CDATA[World's Busiest Airports]]> 1. Atlanta, Hartsfield

    2. Chicago, O Hare
    3. London, Heathrow
    4. Tokyo, Haneda
    5. Los Angeles
    6. Dallas, Ft Worth
    7. Frankfurt, Main
    8. Paris, Charles de Gaulle
    9. Amsterdam, Schiphol
    10. Denver
    11. Las Vegas
    12. Phoenix, Sky Harbour
    13. Madrid 14. Bangkok
    15. New York, JFK
    16. Minneapolis, St Paul
    17. Hong Kong
    18. Houston
    19. Detroit
    20. Beijing
    21. San Fransisco
    22. Newark
    23. London, Gatwick
    24. Orlando
    25. Tokyo, Narita
    26. Singapore
    27. Miami
    28. Seattle, Tacoma
    29. Toronto
    30. Philadelphia

    BY the time you have read this post 159 persons have either enplaned or deplaned on Atlanta Airport.159/min.83,578,906 persons/year.

     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[More Jokes]]> Q: Why does Jessi always smile during lightning storms?
    A: He think his picture is being taken.
    Q: Why does Jessi has "TGIF" written on their shoes?
    A: Toes Go In First.
    Q: How can you tell when Jessi sends you a fax?
    A: It has a stamp on it.
    Q: Why can't Jessi dial  911?
    A: He cannot find the eleven on the phone
    Q: How do you get Jessi on the roof?
    A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.
    Q: What did Jessi do when he was told to "Look at the dead bird"?
    A: Jessi looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
    Q: Why does it take longer to build "Jessi snowman" as opposed to a regular one?
    A: You have to hollow out the head. 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[More Fresh Jokes]]> Q: Have you ever read Shakespeare?
    A. Jessi: "No, who wrote it?"
    Q: What did Jessi say when he ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces?
    A: Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
    Q: Why did Jessi forced 18 of his friends to go to a movie?
    A: Because below 18 was not allowed.
    Q: How do you measure Jessi's intelligence?
    A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
    Q: What do you do when Jessi throws a pin at you?
    A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
    Q: How do you make Jessi laugh on Saturday?
    A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
    Q: What is Jessi doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
    A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
    Q: Why does Jessi work seven days a week?
    A: So you don't have to re-train him on Monday.
    Q: Why can't Jessi make ice cubes?
    A: He always forgets the recipe.
    Q: How did Jessi try to kill the bird?
    A: He threw it off a cliff.
    Q: What do you see when you look into Jessi's eyes?
    A: The back of his head.
    Q: What do you do when Jessi throws a hand grenade at you?
    A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Birhtday Color n Your Nature]]> Find out your color according to your birthday and then find out your nature.its fun.
    With love .........
    Whisper
    December 23rd - January 1st Red
    January 2nd - January 11th Orange
    January 12th - January 24th Yellow
    January 25th - February 3 Pink
    February 4th - February 8th Blue
    February 9th - February 18th Green
    February 19th - February 28th Brown
    March 1st - March 10th Aqua
    March 11 - March 20th Lime
    March 21 st - Black
    March 22 nd - March 31st Purple
    April 1st - April 10th Navy
    April 11th - April 20th Silver
    April 21st - April 30th White
    May 2nd - May 14th Blue
    May 15th - May 24th Gold
    May 25th - June 3rd Cream
    June 4th - June13th Gray
    June 14 - June 23rd Maroon
    June 24th Gray
    June 25 - July 4th Red
    July 5th - July 14th Orange
    July 15th - July 25 th Yellow
    July 26th - August 4 th Pink
    August 5th - August 13th Blue
    August 14th - August 23rd Green
    August 24 - September 2nd Brown
    September 3rd - September12th Aqua
    September 13th - September 22nd Lime
    September 23rd Olive
    September 24th - October 3rd Purple
    October 4th - October 13th Navy
    October 14th - October 23rd Silver
    October 24 - November 11th White
    November 12th - November 21st Gold
    November 22nd - December1st Cream
    December 2nd - December11th Gray
    December 12th - December 21st Maroon
    December 22nd Teal

    RED Cute and lovable type, you are picky but always in love ...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people, nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can make you feel comfortable.

    CREAM Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out-going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long long time.

    TEAL You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.

    GREY You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have a good sense of humor.

    GREEN You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single, waiting for the right person.

    GOLD You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

    PINK You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have positive thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale. You are Smart ,intellegent, and caring personality.

    YELLOW You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming of romantic relationship.

    MAROON You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to take things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble or not thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better love.

    ORANGE You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach, and are competitive. When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.

    PURPLE You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.

    LIME You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.

    SILVER You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying new things. You like to challenge yourself. You learn things easily, and like "Hard to get". Your love life is normally hard and confusing.

    WHITE You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes thought highly by others.

    OLIVE You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Aim Of Life]]> When I was a child, I was asked by some elder, “What do you want to be”?  I said, “ I want to be a pilot.”   Time passed and when I woke up, I was not a pilot. I really had never thought what I wanted to be. Wherever life took me, I just followed quietly.   At a stage I wanted to be a doctor, I never become one, then I wanted to be a film star but circumstances never allowed me, then I wanted to be a formula one driver, but I never had an opportunity.
    Most of us do not know, what we want to be!   We think of something but we end up with something else. Most of us do not know “ what is the aim of my life”? Which is a much greater thing than being something.  Most of us pass our lives aimlessly. Some one asked me” what is the aim of your life! And I was clueless.
    God gave us a precious life, which cannot be wasted. We are sent here for a definite purpose.  To know this purpose is the foremost important thing.   As Shakespeare says  “ life is a stage and everyone in an actor who plays his role and walks away”.   So why not that we should play our role in the best possible manner?  Why not we improve our act?   Why not to do something that the audience is not only pleased but also benefited from our role?  Aim of our life is hidden in fact. We have to search it and then pursue it. A person may know his aim in life and not pursue it all his life whereas a person may not know his aim but keep working on it blindly all his life.
    Smaller aims can be as many as you can think of in your present environment; if you are a peon your aim may be to become a clerk.  If you are clerk, your aim may be to become an officer.  If you are an officer your aim may be to become GM of the institution some day. If you are a GM your aim may be to be an MD.   If you are an MD, your aim may be to buy the company.   If you are owner of the company your aim may be to buy the neighbors company as well.   Similarly when we own a cycle we want to buy motorbike, this becomes our next aim, when we achieve it, we aim to buy a car, when we buy a car, we want to buy a better car, finally we set our aim to buy a Rolls Royce and when we manage to get a Rolls Royce by then we are already aiming to buy a private plane or a helicopter. And the story goes on.
    But the bigger aims are fever, as to be a better human being, to devote your life to save the nature, to spend your life to benefit other people.
    Now you can see the difference between smaller aims and the larger aims. The smaller the aim, the easier it is to achieve.  The bigger the aim becomes, more difficult it becomes to achieve it. Smaller aims may require few minutes to achieve. But the bigger aims may consume whole life. Smaller aims may give you wealth, happiness and all the comforts of world.  But bigger aims hardly have anything to offer except, difficulties, hindrances and hardship.
    Having a bigger aim in life does not mean that we just forget about living our lives in a normal way. Only Prophets and Saints could do that.  We being a normal human being must pursue smaller aims as well as have a bigger aim.  We may give much of our time to smaller aims but we must devote some time to achieve our bigger aim.
    To satisfy once inner self, it is necessary to have a greater aim in life.  It will not only please our own self but will also please God and other people.  Not all the people have great aims in life. It distinguishes us from others.  It helps us satisfying our conscious and sub conscious. God has gifted us with such beautiful life.  We must not waist it.  We must find a purpose to live it and use it as best as we can.
    Have you ever thought about it? You must have. What is your aim of life? Please comment.
     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 4]]> MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
    How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
    If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT.
    Well guess what?
    It's only NATURAL when this happens...
    That's right, I said NATURAL.
    When you do these things, you send a clear message:
    "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
    Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
     

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Letter From Mom]]> My Dear Sun,
    I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last person who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days.
    The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
    We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, she will come up again.
    Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetery.
    Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
    Your Uncle fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
    Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned, as they couldn't get the gate down.
    There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
    Love, Mom
    P.S. - I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Funny Ways To Propose]]> Just some funny ways to propose her/him ............ (at your own risk!!!)
     1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
    "You're under arrest!"
    (For what?) "For stealing my heart."
    2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?
    3. Are your legs tired?
    ( girl: Why?)
    because you have been running through my mind all day!
    4. "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
    5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I've
    seemed to have lost myself in your eyes
    6. (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket,
    She would say,"What are doing" respond, "Oh, just
    checking to see if you were made in Heaven."
    7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
    "I was just showing this flower how beautiful you
    are."
    8. Is it hot in here or is it just you? 

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Quotes for Women]]> 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
    3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
    4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
    5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
    6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
    7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
    9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 
    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 
    12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
    13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
    14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
    15. Sadly, all men are created equal.  

    ]]>         <![CDATA[11 Ways Gals Put Down Guys]]> 1)
    He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face
    like yours!
    She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a
    face like yours!
    2)
    He: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
    She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake
    twice!
    3)
    He: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
    She: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!
    4)
    He: How did you get to be so beautiful?
    She: I must've been given your share!
    5)
    He: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
    She: It is hot!
    6)
    He: I'd go to the ends of the worlds for you!
    She: Okay, but would you stay there?
    7)
    He: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
    She: Sorry, I'm having a headache this weekend!
    8)
    He: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
    She: Okay, Get out!
    9)
    He: I think I could make you very happy.
    She: Why, are you leaving?
    10)
    He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
    She: Nothing, I can't talk & laugh at the same time.
    11)
    He: Do you think it was fate, which brought us
    together?
    She: Nah, it was plain bad luck!

    ]]>         <![CDATA[My Boss - Dual persona]]> My Boss : Ohhhh Big boss..... im his close aide.. why is it so and how is it possible....... i often see him carrying a dual persona. one minute he is smiling with other person the other minute he is angry at me...... for himself he likes to have 3 chauffeur driven cars , company maintained, and for others he is miser to give even one. he has been to the stage where i am now.... he must be knowing my needs , my limitations , my requirements whatever... then why is it that he does not understand ??? why he keeps bullying me around even when i do my job near to perfection...... you know what remarks he gave the other day.....? he said.. mr i chose you to be my aide coz YOU needed my help....... (i think i would have been better of if i had not been his aide... )...... life is miserable since last 2 days...... well........ i am not complaining of extra work....... just that why people have dual standards....... dual characters.... dual personalities....... ? changing faces all the time.... does this means success?.... i am disturbed.... perturbed..  

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 3]]> MISTAKE #3:
    Looking To HerFor  Approval Or Permission
    In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us),
    us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
    Another HORRIBLE idea.
    Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
    Don't get me wrong here.
    You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
    But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
    You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
    Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 2]]> MISTAKE #2:
    Trying To “Convince Her To Like You"
    What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like...
    but she's just not interested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
    Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
    Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
    Think about it. If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her?
    But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
    Bad idea. One that will never work .
    Come Back to see Mistake # 3]]>         <![CDATA[Fresh Jokes]]>  HOW TO RECOGNIZE A My Old Friend Jessi??
    You should be sure the person is My Friend Jessi when he:
    •Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind
    •Gets stabbed in a shoot-out
    •Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it
    •Tries to drown a fish in water
    •Thinks socialism means partying
    •Trips over a cordless phone
    •Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept
    •At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius"
    •Studies for a blood test and fails
    •Sells the car for gas money
    •Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead
    •Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said "Airport left", he turns around and goes home
    •Gets locked in a furniture shop and sleeps on the floor

    ]]>         <![CDATA[WWW ? 1]]> The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women And What To Do About It...

    MISTAKE #1:BeingToo Much Of A “Nice Guy”

    Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.What's going on here? It's actually very simple... Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is.They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION.And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.Come again to see Mistake # 2.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[More Quotes 4 Women About Men]]> 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
    2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
    3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
    4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
    5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
    6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
    7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
    8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Quotes 4 Women About Men]]> 1. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
    2. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 
    3. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 
    4. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
    5. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
    6. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. 7. Sadly, all men are created equal.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Fresh SMS Jokes]]> 1) could you fax me your pic?
    very very urgently......mind u its really very urgent damn serious and important..... i am playing cards and we have misplaced the joker.
    2) men's sexual stages.........
    20's........ try daily
    30's........ try weekly
    40's........ try monthly
    50's........try and try
    60's....... try and cry
    70's ..... try and die................
    3) boy goes for a blood test........
    nurse took the sample ........ cant find cotton .... so she sucks the blood of his finger........
    boy is amazed and happy.......... so he asks .......
    can i have a urine test done too????
    4) a small monkey asks his mother...........
    mommy ............ why are we so ugly...........?
    mother replies........ you should thank God.....
    look at the person who is reading this message........
    5) masturbation: Shaking hands with the unemployed
    6) Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Hare n The Tortoise Part 2]]> well as to the hare and the tortoise: Do you know the hare bet the race again?
    Read this Part 2 of the story.
    After the hare lost the race, heads of all the hare were down with shame and disgust.
    A conference was called and the looser was snubbed in front of all.it was decided to invite the tortoise again to race.
    Best runner among the hare was chosen and specially instructed by the seniors not to relax and sleep.
    Getting the invitation and hearing about the coference, unrest and disturbance spread among the tortoise lines.
    They too held a conference (very secret), and it was decided to accept the challenge and race with the hare and no matter how...
    win it to keep the pride of the tortoise.
    Now how to win the race with a non relaxy, non sleepy hare? A big question???
    not that big, an old tortoise raised his neck and addressed the young.Select similar skin tortoise among thyselves.
    Hide them on every two hundred meter in a bush.(applause).
    The race began.hare started off with a happy note and so did the tortoise. w
    hen the hare left him far behinde and reched a 200m stone he saw the tortoise moving ahead of him.
    Surprised hare crossed him again whistling.every 200 m he found the tortoise moving ahead again and yet again.
    thinking i never knew they run so fast and get ahead of me with even a blink of my eyes, he crossed the tortoise again and began the final 200 m run.
    OHHHHH at the finish point he again saw the tortoise crossing the finish line ahead of him.......... (applause)......
    Morale:  Slow and steady still wins the race.
    Morale2: Life in the cycle lane is better than the speedy lanes which often remain jammed and you are prone to the accidents.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[What Tree you Fall From ??]]> Find your birthday and then find your tree...
    This is cool and somewhat accurate,
    also in line with Celtic astrology.
    I'm not sure I believe in this kind
    of stuff ...but I do find it interesting !!!

    Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
    Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
    Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
    Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
    Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
    Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
    Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
    Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
    Mar 21 - Oak Tree
    Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
    Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
    Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
    Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
    May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
    May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
    May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
    Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
    Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
    Jun 24 - Birch Tree
    Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree  Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
    Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
    Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
    Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
    Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
    Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
    Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
    Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
    Sep 23 - Olive Tree
    Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
    Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
    Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
    Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
    Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
    Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
    Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
    Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
    Dec 22 - Beech Tree
    Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree


    APPLE TREE (the Love) -
    of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction,
    pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive,
    always in love, wants to love and be loved,
    faithful and tender partner, very generous,
    scientific talents, lives for
    today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

    ASH TREE (the Ambition) -
    uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
    demanding, does not care for criticism,
    ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate,
    can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy,
    faithful and prudent lover, sometimes
    brains rule over the heart,
    but takes partnership very seriously.
     
    BEECH TREE (the Creative) -
    has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic,
    good organization of life and career, economical,
    good leader, takes no unnecessary risks,
    reasonable, splendid lifetime companion,
    keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

    BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) -
    vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious,
    modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the
    vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm,
    not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition,
    creates a calm and content atmosphere.
     
    CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) -
    of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health,
    not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,
    self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others,
    many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting
    for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
     
    CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) -
    of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed
    sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat,
    but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a
    lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior,
    feels not understood loves only once,
    has difficulties in finding a partner.
     
    CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) -
    strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give,
    content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment,
    hates loneliness, passionate lover which
    cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,
    unruly, pedantic, and careless.
     
    ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) -
    pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands,
    tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead
    but not to obey, honest and faithful
    partner, likes making decisions for others,
    noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
     
    FIG TREE (the Sensibility) -
    very strong, a bit self-willed, independent does not
    allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family,
    children and animals, a bit of a social
    butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and
    laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
     
    FIR TREE (the Mysterious) -
    extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves
    anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism
    but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very
    ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontented lover, many
    friends, many foes, very reliable
     
    HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) -
    charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows
    how to make an impression, active fighter for social
    cause, popular, moody, and capricious
    lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
     
    HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) -
    of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste,
    is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible,
    leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for
    kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,
    dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
     
    LIME TREE (the Doubt) -
    accepts what life dishes out in a composed way,
    hates fighting, stress, and labor,
    dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting,
    makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not
    tenacious enough to make them blossom,
    often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
     
    MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) -
    no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality,
    shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident,
    hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous,
    has many complexities, good memory, learns easily,
    complicated love life, wants to impress.
     
    OAK TREE (the Brave) -
    robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the
    ground, person of action.
     
    OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) -
    loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced,
    avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful,
    calm, well-developed sense of justice,
    sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read
    and the company of sophisticated people.
     
    PINE TREE (the Particular) -
    loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make
    life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but
    seldom friendly, falls easily in love but
    its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything
    disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
     
    POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) -
    looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous
    if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings,
    very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature,
    good organizer, tends to lean toward
    philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
     
    ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) -
    full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications,
    is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does
    not forgive.
     
    WALNUT TREE (the Passion) -
    unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
    difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate,
    no compromise.
     
    WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) -
    beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic,
    loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer,
    restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy
    to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but
    finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

    ]]>         <![CDATA[Super Quotes]]> 1.Never argue with an idiot.They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience!
    2.Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
    3.If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
    4.Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
    5.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    6.My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    7.It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    8.For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

    ]]>