The Star Online > Southneast

Wednesday March 22, 2006

Strange marriage customs

By MUAMMAR KAMARUDDIN

CAN you restrain yourself from clearing your bowels or urinating for three days and nights? 

If your answer is in the negative, forget about getting married to any member of the Tidong community who live in Sandakan, Sabah. 

A Tidong couple at the marriage ceremony in Sungai Tiram, Sandakan, recently.

This tradition will have remained unknown to people outside the community had it not been for the Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry, which took the initiative to reveal this strange custom through its Marriage Customs Manifestation Programme in Sungai Tiram, Sandakan, recently. 

Included in the programme were cultural dances of the Suluk, Tidong, Sungai and Kagayan ethnic groups and their marriage ceremonies. 

Explaining the custom, Sungai Tiram Tidong community head Marukin Dollah, 72, said it was the community's belief that those who breached the custom might suffer a broken marriage, infertility or death of their children at a young age. 

He said, to ensure the couple passed the test, several people would keep watch over them and they would be fed only a minimal amount of food and drink. 

The couple is then be bathed after the three-day period. 

The radiant faces of a newly-married Tidong couple.

Marukin said the wedding ring was not slipped on the bride’s finger by the husband-to-be, but instead by his mother. 

In the case of the Suluk community, the engagement period takes not more than a week and the bride is not allowed outside the house during that period. 

Sandakan's Suluk community head Mustaffah Mohd Hassan, 41, said the short engagement period was to avoid untoward incidents. 

Another important factor for the Suluk was perfect timing, and any bridegroom who arrived late would have to pay a fine, which usually took the form of a ring, he said. 

Before the marriage, the bridegroom is not allowed to see the face of the bride until he sings several love songs. A curtain which separates them is then raised and the couple can then see each other on the dias. 

The ministry’s Secretary General Datuk Siti Azizah Abot, who represented Minister Datuk Seri Rais Yatim at the launch of the programme, said the programme would be extended to other states. – Bernama