I spent 3 days and 2 nights of my life on 2 Indian trains... I am suprised how well I feel all things considered. I am suprised I did not kill anyone, I am suprised I can walk still and that food seems like a good idea (3 days sitting on the train made me never want to eat again). I am also suprised that I am going to do it again, I must be mad. I am not suprised to learn I am mad.

Time behaves differently on trains, it becomes a slippery changeable thing, it drags on so and then suprises you by racing away. You stop thinking in terms of ridiculous Western ideas like timetables, schedules and deadlines and instead time is broken up and measured by pages in books, toilet trips, number of food vendors in the carriage and the likliehood of screaming babies.

Pushkar is my favourite place in India so far, it not so much like a resort as the Southern coast was, it is peaceful and has a good vibe. It is set around a sacred lake so I suppose it should have good vibes really. It is chilled out and full of temples and ghats.

I discovered on my trip from Varkala to Pushkar that Jaipur and Marrakech are actually the same city but there is some strange behaviour on behalf of physics that allows it to exist in 2 different places and 2 different times simultaneously. The ancient pink city the traffic, the stalls, it is all the same they are the same place. Jaipur is more modern (less donkeys more cows) but really trying to break down the differences between them is pointless as they are the same city.

This is also why the traffic is so bad in this city, if you slow down you may get sucked from one into the other, thus you must never slow down whilst on a vehicle, anything from bike to rickshaw. An abatement of speed runs the risk of travelling through the warp in the space time continuum and ending up in the past in Africa or in the future in India. This transfer would be very disconcerting and undoubtedly distressing which also accounts for the high number of crazy people you see wandering the city.

Having cleared that up I am off to yoga.

Travelling in India is like being perpetually trapped in an episode of Fawlty Towers.

I had a great New Years eve dancing to bad pop music on the cliff above the Arabian sea in Varkala. There was amazing food, lots of vodka, doobies, midnight swimming and some serious fun.

The only thing that marred my evening was discovering at 5am that someone had taken my camera and some other stuff from my bag (none of it as sad as my camera, they are welcome to my lip gloss). I was dancing away and one of the straps on my bag was loose from my shoulder and some fuckhead stole shit... Bastards.

The good thing was I had spent 5 hours on the afternoon of the 31st downloading my pictures onto cds. Thank god I did that... Losing my camera sucks balls, but losing all my pictures as well, well that would just be the worst thing ever, especially since it would have had all my photos from Portugal, England and Goa... Ouch.

The worst part was trying to obtain a police report, not only did I have to buy my own paper on which to write my complaint, it took 3 visits and 4 hours of my life, and Indian police are horrible human beings. I hate to make sweeping generalisations but every single one of them was a power hungry, arrogant, mean, revolting human being.

So I hope everyone else out there had an amazing New Years and nothing went walkabout whilst you were enjoying the revelling... And I am sure you are all enjoying regular power and functioning telephones unlike myself. Do not take them for granted, losing power 34 times a day sucks when you need internet and fax access...

Off to spend 2 days on a train on Sunday to get to Pushkar, so some serious lying on the beach needs to be done before then. Cheers everyone, thinking of friends and family lots, and enjoying many a vodka on your behalf (s).

Back on the beach. Staying on the top a cliff below which is a beautiful sandy beach, with waves ! I have not seen those since I left Australia, they are very sad waves but they exist nonetheless. And after a week of seeing no travellers and then some, but none under 45, we are once again on the backpacker trail and there are people to talk to, drink with and exchange information.

I thought you would all be very amused to know that I have ended up in a "dry" state for New Years, that is right, booze is illegal here... All this means is booze is more expensive and we are back to the good old Aussie tradition of brown paper bags! Love it. But still after 7 days, 9 hours in a taxi, 29 hours on buses and 16 hours on trains, to end up somewhere with a "law" against booze is pretty funny...

So, to all heading up to Peats Ridge; I am very jealous, have an amazing time and think of me! Everyone have a mind blowingly good New Years and do not do anything I would not do... Which does not really rule much out!

The overnight train from Chennai to Kerala was delightful, it ran on time, there was tasty breakfast for SFA and I slept pretty much the whole way. It has reconfirmed my vow to never get on a bus for more then 4 hours in India again, ever, no exceptions. I will eat my still beating heart before I take that risk again.

Kerala is very beautiful, it has 900kms of backwaters full of palms, birds, the compulsory cows, cashews, bananas and coconuts aplenty. We did a backwater cruise today which was lovely, it was peaceful, green, lots of jumping fish and very calming. The pollution breaks my heart, like all of India there is trash everywhere. Garbage disposal seems to come in 2 forms; throw it in the sea or burn it, awful.

I have decided I love India geographically and culinarily, but I hate everything else. Thousands of years of treating people like dirt, their attitude to women and the appalling way they treat the poor is unacceptable. I am not sure how the home of yoga, meditiation and buddhism can be so awful to their fellow human beings. Not to mention the fact that nothing works or runs on time, everything takes 3000 times longer then is neccessary, every single thing from ordering food to toilets is a hassle and they do not seem to be able to do anything without filling in 4 forms. I really wish I was a more patient person, maybe I will learn to be.

I am a little bit worried I am going to stop liking people before I get out of here..... All I seem to say these days is "No thank you, I am not interested, please leave me alone." Ah well my next stops are beaches with noone around, pilgrim/hippy towns, so it should be a lot mre pleasant. No more cities though, they just suck balls.

So I made it out of Goa, after 46 hours of hell. It took 3 buses, an 8 hour taxi journey and a rickshaw but we ended up in Chennai for Christmas. I have never been more uncomfortable, sleep deprived or afraid in my life. I will never get on another bus in India again. I am not actually sure what is more dangerous; the threat of terrorism or being on an overnight bus from Goa to Bangalore, I am covered in bruises and my head hurts still.

Chennai is awful, it is filthy, disgusting and smells, and as per usual every single person tries to rip you off at every available oppurtunity. I hate it. Christmas was miserable but we made the most of it, getting as wasted as possible in our hotel room. After the nightmare of 2 days traveling and no sleep we splashed out and are staying at a mid-range hotel, with room service and an ensuite, had to be done.

So tonight we catch the train to Kerala, I can't wait. From Kerala I have other places I want to get to, but there is not much more staring, getting ripped off, harassment and disrespect I can take, so unless these new places are better, I am leaving. Goa was amazing and if my plans take me to equally cool places I will have a great time in India, if not; I am outta here. I think so long as I do not go to any cities, get any buses or listen to anyone who tries to speak to me, I should have a wonderful time.

Hope everyone is having a great festive season. Enjoy you New Years and have many drinks for me.

The fact that  Goa Airport will be closed from the 24th of December until the 2nd of January was the thing that finally really scared me. That news made the situation seem a whole lot more frightenig and threatening. I now understand why Goa is so dead, as news of the bomb threats spreads via word of mouth (apparently the only source of news here asides internet) people are leaving in en masse. I had a plan to go to Kerala instead, so did everyone else. So now with all available exits slowly being shut off, I am off to Bangalore (17 hours on a bus) to get a bus to Pondicherry (8 hours).

The beaches are so quiet, there are more touts then people, it is really sad, people are desperate, losing all the tourists for one season means no money for a year. It is really tragic that so many people's livliehoods have been ruined by the these threats. It would seem that enough damage has been done, there is no need to add th loss of life to the disaster, Goa has been ruined for this year.

So for me, Kerala will have to wait until the New Year and Pondicherry gets moved up my itinerary. I am really sorry to be leaving and heartbroken for the ruined businesses that have nowhere else to go.

So it looks like I will be leaving Goa sooner rather then later, I'm not even sure if I will stay for Christmas   this little http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/16/world/middleeast/16goa.html?em&ex=1166418000&en=a29257c7a32df160&ei=5087%0A (stupid fucking none working hyperlink) article has convinced me of this.

Very unimpressed. Not suprisingly the useless Australian Government has issued no warning apart form an increase in security at Airports in Goa. The Indian Government claims it is all safe because they have banned hawkers from the beach. This really sucks. I knew before I came that India is dangerous, the 100 people killed on a train in July was a reminder of this, but to see such a specific threat that relates to me so closely is a real shake up.

So my New Years eve is going to be a non-event in some backwater in Kerala, rather then the world famous parties I was hoping for, maybe I should just go to Thailand now....

Oh and this morning I saw a kid attacked by a bull on the beach, the kid was ok, but today is making me want to get out of this country.... Away from this beach.

I moved from Palolem Beach to Arambol yesterday and I am regretting it. Arambol, is dirty, stinks of burning rubbish, the dogs and cows are aggressive and aside from the usual Indian touts there are a whole bunch of lecherous Israelis to deal with. My new husband Jake has been saving me from their attentions, but I would really like to be treated with some respect rather then as blonde hair, tits and a wallet. I suppose having been "the" hippy destination has turned this beach into a quagmire of seediness; where there are hippies there are relaxed standards.

Bummed out....

So I have learnt not to trust anyone who approaches you in the street, they want to scam you in some way shape or form. Anyone who starts talking to you wants somethng, if it is not money it is an attempt to pick you up. Even going near a shop is asking to spend a long time either haggling or tryng to escape. Country of bloody husslers, gettng a little bit old already.

Yesterday the scamming extended to the animal kingdom. At breakfast I was suddenly attacked by ants, biting angry little bastards. Three tables later I found a seat that was ant free. Lunch time and I was sitting down enjoying a lovely vindaloo and nan, when, a crow swooped from the sky and took off with my nan clutched firmly in its talons. My extreme shock must have registered on my face and it provided much mirth for the rest of the restaurant. The wait staff wiped the tears from their eyes and provided me with another nan.... Which I defended warily from the circling avain threat.

Then last night as I was strolling down the beach a group of dogs decided I was their new best friend and started following me. There are dogs all over the beach none of them are owned by anyone but they are all tame and lovely. They seem to live their lives in some kind of dog soap opera/political upheaval with lots of howling and jostling going on. Anyway the dogs that started following me roamed around behind me for hours and when I attempted to return to my accommodation they had to be locked out by the manager as they would not leave me. They proceeded to sit outside the gate and howl and I had to leave by a different exit to avoid their slightly strange devotion to me.

It has been very strange adventures in India, never a dull moment! Monday I am off to North Goa where the parties are. I have planned my travels and I am going to do a circuit around India that will take me to all the places I want to go, really excited about it! It will mean spending days of my life on trains but so far that has been great, and hassle free.

Goa is paradise. White sandy beaches fringed with palm trees, warm water, boats and shacks line the sand. Where I am staying in Palolem was recently voted the most beautiful beach in India. There is a law against erecting permanent structures, so all the accommodation, bars, restaurants etc are little shacks and hut built out of cocnut palms, bamboo and other materials. At the ned of the wet season, they all need to be rebulit, it is wonderful.

I am staying at the Palolem Beach Resort in a concrete floored tent that is 40 metres from the surf. All this for the princely sum of $10 Australian dollars a night. This of course raises all sorts of crises of conscience for me.... Whilst I am ecstatic to be somewhere so beautiful and affordable, I am battling with the ethics of living on so little for me while thise around me have nothing. I have decided though bringin my fat western wallet has to help, I hope.

I have been hanging out with a really cool English couple; Sangita and James and a lovely lady called Virginia from Adelaide. Virginia saved me from Mumbai and travelled down on the train with me to Goa. Things in Mumbai got a whole lot easier when I was with someone else. I have also acquired a wedding ring and an imaginary husband to reduce the hassle factor a little bit. My imaginary husband is so wonderful I am worried that noone will ever live up to him, but it is worth it!

I have been doing yoga, swimming, walking and I am about to head off and have an ayurvedic consultation which should be really interesting. I am so relaxed, loving it. Finally getting some much needed sunshine into me and the most fantastic food. Next stop Kerala to hang out on a lake and spend a couple of days exploring the backwaters of "Eastern Venice".