The night Utopia exploded was a little more exciting then your average bear. I wandered down to find Claire on Serendipity Beach Sihanoukville cursing the infernal firecrackers. When I found Claire and we were trudging back to our hotel we discovered that it was not firecrackers but an exploding powerline, complete with 15 dodgy boxes on it, one of which was on fire and shooting sparks. When the firemen arrived 30 minutes later they borrowed the garden hose from Utopia (bar/meat market for drunk travelers) to put out the flames, I seem to recall learning many moons ago that this is not the vest way to deal with an electrical fire, in fairness there were flames... And a sparking eletrical light show.

Claire and I proceeded to forget our troubles at the Frog place on the beach, which had free green shots of doom. We stumbled home to our powerless thus un-fanned room and passed out.

Naturally the next day we had to get a bus, so naturally we were a little seedy. We has to get the bus to stop so Claire could be sick. I felt fine and rather gulity for it....

So we arrived back in Penom Pehn were we have been stuck for a couple of days due to the Laos embassy sucking a great deal. So once mroe we are in the land of heat and deep fried insect snacks, tarantula anyone? We have seen many markets, eaten Mexican and cheesecake (Cambodian food is crap) and been in a slow speed tuk-tuk crash, so there is nothing left to do here. Tomorrow we are off to Siam Reap to investigate this Angkor Wat place and see why Cambodia is the only country in the world with a building on their flag, should be good.

*This little gem is a direct quote from Claire

How many pairs of shoes can be lost, stolen or ruined on one trip? I will let you know what the final count is when I stop traveling, but at the moment I am down to my last pair. Who steals shoes? I mean honestly, especially my shoes, which were more kind of honorific footwear then functional accessories.

In recent times; I have been working on my tan, losing shoes and enhancing my ability to lie still for long streches of time. Claire and I went out to an island and spent the night there, much fun was had by all. The island is billed as a place to chill out and get away from it all, I am sure it was exactly that before we arrived and made it all loud. I have done lots of peering at the fishies on coral reefs and avoiding the sea urchins of doom. Apart from that not really done much at all; Sihanoukville has been lovely.

Me and the wagon have had a disagreement about directions and it seems I have now been forcibly ejected back into the gutter. I remember now why free shots and buckets of gin and tonic are a sure fire way to do some silly dancing, lose pool competitions and wake up seedy. I have not laughed as much as I did last night for a very long time, feels good. India was practically booze free, so Cambodia has been a re-education for me and the art of drinking. Some nice moments, having a drunken conversation in an Irish accent with a Canadian, much to the amusement of the 2 English representatives, sing alongs on the beach (mainly the theme song to Round the Twist), arguing with taxi drivers who try and rip you off because you are drunk and eating tofu burgers every second meal.

Off to Penom Phen tomorrow then onto Siam Reap shortly after. I ma really excited about Laos as everyone I meet who has been there raves about it.

Last night was the Vietnamese New Years and despite our best intentions Claire and I managed to stumble home rather late and a little intoxicated. It was an interesting night, the firework display was watched by millions of people in their scooters who attended quietly. Exactly 15 minutes after the explosions ceased, the crowd drove off again. It was the quietest, most subdued and orderly New Years crowd I have ever seen, nothing like Australian excess.

So in true Aussie style, we met some other tourist revellers and drank blue cocktails. I proceeded to have an arguement with an extremely unpleasant man from Machester and then storm off to bed very late. I have not met so many Sydney siders in one place since I was in Amsterdam.

So this morning my alarm failed in some sepctacular way that meant we woke up 4 minutes before our bus was supposed to depart. Somehow we got up, put on clothes, paid our bill and shambled to the bus stop discussing our options. To our absolute amazement we discovered that the bus was still there despite us being 15 minutes late. The bus then stopped three times so we could find an ATM and get cash out to pay for our visas into Cambodia, earning us the title of ATM Girls. I am sure we probably smelled like a brewery, but noone was rude enough to comment on it.

The 6 hour bus trip was delightful, the hangover not so much, but the comfortable seats, air conditioning and overall luxuriousness of the bus blew my India scarred mind. The Cambodian roads were not the best, but getting air out of your seat on these buses, did not inspire a heart wrenching moment of sheer terror.

So far loving Cambodia, it is much more chilled then Ho Chi Minh and seems really clean. I will probably love it even more when I have had some sleep and a chance to have a look around more.

I am in Vietnam, despite all odds. It involved  arriving at the airport drunk and surly, vowing to never fly Thai Air again (evil bastards) but here I am. Off to Cambodia in 2 days on a bus, florid and graphic comparisons to Indian buses coming soon.

I said goodbye to Jason this morning and met Claire a couple of hours later. I have now seen more friends today then I have for a very long time, yay. Can't wait to see the rest of ya, unfortunately the setting may not be quite as exotic and for some of you nom-residents of the Emerald City, it maybe a little bit further in the future then I can predict accurately.

Oh and apparently you don't have to worry about mosquitos in cities in Indochina as the water is too polluted for them to breed. Phew.

All is well. Lots of reading snorkelling, smoking of spliffs, lying in hammocks and dancing has been acheived, excellent. I love it here, it is relly awesome.

I am not sure how many of you have noticed the Google ads that appear down the side of my posts, but they are probably why this free blog exists and sometimes they are hilarious. In order to fuck with the system and for pure scientific purposes I am going to post a list of keywords and see what ads get linked. I am very curius especially since I noticed an ad for a Jehovahs Witness holiday beside one of my posts.

Here goes; valium, religion, sex, barbie, activism, sex, Australian politics, sex, dolphins, campervans, resorts, hotel, sex, dinner, golf, sex, freedom, kites, camels, elephants, sex, beach, testosterone,  organic, vitamins, sepulchre, sex, rainwater tank,  doom, sleeplessness, Cliff Richards, cats, sex, flying pigs, sirens, loopholes, excel spreadsheets, toilet breaks, caravan, sex, emu, ambassador, Mercedes, sex, fridge, helicopter, Tarzan, lycra, aquarobics, beer, brast enlargement, Franciscan, power tools, values, Pi, sex, babies, agraphobia, gaol break, Paris Hilton topless, quicksand, Isaac Newtown, communism, custard, proliferation, frenzied, punching bags, gorillas, snooker, Ronald Reagan.

Te he, lets see what the results of that are!!

Ok, so the first time I got sick was because I had a magic mushroom shake... It seems that only under these circumstances do I remember why the second to last time I had mushrooms (8 years ago) I vowed to never touch them again. Lets see if I can recall this, if, in 8 years I am tempted to do it again.

It seems that this time, I have food poisoning. Thats right I ma in tropical paradise in a hut on a private beach and I have been ill, very ill. Boo. Thankfully Jason arrived in time to take care of me as I lay around being ill.

Jason wants everyone to know he is alive and well, and desires no contact with the outside world.

It really is paradise here, there are definitely very few places more beautiful that I have seen. Now that I am geting better I can appreciate the coral reef and amazing food and lying around a lot more.

This place is way over priced... I am in shock after India, and wondering how to salvage my budget.

Also after traveling in the filthiest country I have ever been to, India, without the slighest hint of a stomach problem, I have gotten ill in Thailand. Go figure. There are other factors to explain why I got ill, but they can wait for a face to face explanation.

It is beautiful here, but very touristy and full of people who are far too young to be out without a grown up, oh wait that is just me being old. There are far too many of the beautiful people here. I freaked out in a supermarket yesterday, could not handle it, too much for my poor brain.

Full Moon party tonight and I am thinking about staying in and reading my book. What the hell has happened to me?

Long time no Haiku

Exhausted jet setter calms

India is over

So with a big middle finger held firmly aloft we left Mussoorie. We got so sick of being ripped off and stared at we decided to come back to Rishikesh. Just thought you would like to know, Mussoorie is nothing but a tourist town and being there in the 10 month off-season is a bad idea. So we took our tourist dollars back to Rishikesh and were greeted with hugs at our accommodation, contented sigh.

I am bummed to miss the Big Day Out, for the first time since 1995 (gosh that makes me feel old). I think maybe this trip is more then compensation though. So to all who are there right now, enjoy, I know I would be.... TOOL.

Interesting trivia; today is also India day, so I get to see how it compares to Australia Day. Actually I do not know what Australia Day is like, as, for the last 12 years I have spent it at the BDO, so I guess I just get to see it with no comparisons to be made.

Observation; traveling in India is like being trappd in an epsiode of Fawlty Towers that takes place on a Mardi Gras float.

That is all from me until Thailand.

I am at altitude for the first time in my life. I am staying in a town called Mussorie 2270m up a mountain in the Himalayas. Yesterday I climbed to the highest point in the town 2500m, mind blowing, so beautiful. I am literally above the clouds. The sunsets are astonishing, the stars are so clear. It is all awe-inspiring.

The bad news is that I cannot trek to the start of the Ganges as, at this time of year it is cut off by 3 feet of ice and is closed. However, I can see the glacier form my hotel window so I am happy. It would have been amazing to make it there, but my general fitness would need to be a lot better (altitude 7000m) and it would need to be a month that is not the second coldest in this part of the world. But I have seen it through a telescope and every day from my bed, close enough for me, what is 60kms when your are flying 35 000 miles anyway?

Speaking of cold, oh dear, I am so happy I have my sleeping bag and lots of clothes, our hotel room is 6 degrees over night, it is so cold up here. I love it, it is amazing, the air is so dry, the wind is so cold I am sure it is about to snow (despite the lack of clouds).

Strange things I did not expect to find two and a half kilometres up a mountain in India; Dominoes Pizza, the first cup of espresso coffee I have had in India (I gave up drinking coffee when I got hewre so after that I was bouncing off the walls, great fun!) and a roller skating rink. We tried to go roller skating yesterday, but the rink is only open during the tourist season. Tourist season here runs from May to June..... Our room is 2300 rupees in peak season, we are paying 300 rupees, very strange, very specific season, the whole town is focused on 2 months of the year, weird place.

This afternoon I am planning to walk around the town and stand around slack jawed staring at the clouds below me and experimenting with getting drunk at altitude, I will let you know how all this goes.

So here I stay until I begin my insane odessey to get to Ko Samui / Ko Pha Nagn in Thailand. It will take 3 days, 1 jeep, 1 train, 3 planes and a 4 hour boat trip to get there, but it should be amazing. thank God I have been in training for insane missions.

My poor body, by the time I get to Thailand I will have dragged it from humid beaches to desert to mountains to tropical jungle in less then 4 weeks. Good thing I plan on spending 2 weeks lying around not doing much in Thailand before heading to Vietnam.