Ellen Degeneres Virus:
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Monica Lewinsky Virus:
Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Titanic Virus:
Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney Virus:
Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson Virus:
Quits after one byte.

Prozac Virus:
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

Lorena Bobbit Virus:
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Woody Allen Virus:
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

Joey Buttafuoco Virus:
Only attacks minor files.

Spice Girl Virus:
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan Virus:
Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.

Dr. Kevorkian Virus:
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

Oprah Winfrey Virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

AT&T Virus:
Every 3 minutes it tells you what a great service you are getting.

MCI Virus:
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus.