I see you on my friendster list
You see my face on your page
my friends, you put me in bliss
like it when messages are exchanged

My writings and videos you see
through bulletins and updates
you actually see the real me
noticed by you, it's damn great!

comments and sending of smiles
i hold dear in my mundane life
i may be far by thousands of miles
but hey, we definitely still jive

I don't usually compose with rhyme
but to say my biggest thank you
it was absolutely worth my time
my happiness of knowing you is true

Bronxite

I came across this word when I was watching the news. The impact of the word hit me and reminded me that yes, I live and work in The Bronx. It has been close to three years since I arrived from a small city in the Philippines. Throughout this time, I have dealt with culture shock, pleasant and unpleasant people. My parents were hesitant to help me financially to get here when they learned that I will be teaching in The Bronx. Images of gang wars, drug chases and an unsafe environment caused them to have irrational worries. However, I was able to persuade them that I will survive since I have to earn money or I will die poor. With two suitcases, I left the life I was used to and flew to New York, uncertain of things to come. The city has been nice to me from the moment I tripped in front of so many people in JFK to dealing with my first nasty boss. I wanted to give up but going back home is not an option. I spent too much money and my pride is too high to be a failure. For a time, I felt so scared to ride the subway or sit beside a very loud, obnoxious person, but as months went by, I realized I am a part of the rat race. The change in the way I speak was the first sign I was becoming a real Bronxite; the longer I stay here, the feistier I get. In my workplace, you can be the lamb or the wolf. I do not choose to be either one since I cannot be a total bitch or a doormat. I chose to have balance; I am nice to respectable people and always guarded against those who don't know any better. I know I have a long way to go before I become a true Bronxite then to a true New Yorker. When I talked to my grandmother on the phone, she mentioned the following observations that made me laugh until snoot came out of my nose.

Hazel: HELLO! GRANDMA! It's Hazel
Grandma: Putsa! I am not yet deaf! Lower your voice. Is a megaphone attached to your mouth?
Hazel: HOW are you? How is your therapy?
Grandma: Fine, I still got my nine ribs. How are you? Make sure you are always safe. I am always watching any news about New York.
Hazel: I am alright Grandma. Just tired from work. I do not even have time to go out after work except on weekends. Letse! I have to do my own laundry too plus ironing which sucks! PUTSA!
Grandma: Hmmm, you still have a potty mouth. Only worse! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hazel:I will send you your allowance at the end of this month. Buy yourself a bikini. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Grandma: PUTANGINA mo! You know that my breasts are already reaching the floor! I miss you "anak" (child).
Hazel: I miss you too. Got to go Grandma. I will call again. Love you.
Grandma: Always be safe. Have safe sex but no marriage yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I truly think that my grandma with her 86 glorious years attached to her can be a Bronxite. She is a tough cookie and she is my inspiration to get out of my comfort zone to venture into this country. I thanked her everyday since I have fallen deeply in love with New York.

 New York Is an Island  

1. A friend once told me that New York City is an Island. Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn,Staten Island are all islands too except for The Bronx which is part of United States Mainland. This was very informative and educational for me when I first arrived here to work as a teacher. However, the following were discovered in my own interesting, trivial and hilarious experiences.
 
2. New York State has 5 boroughs namely The Bronx where I live and work. Queens wherein there are so many Filipinos like me, Brooklyn with those lovely brick houses, Manhattan which is the heart of NY, Staten Island…. Well, let's just say I met one person who lives there but somehow his name completely slipped off my mind.
 
3. New York can be called the Freedom of Expression Haven, People generally do not give a damn what they wear. From looking like a model for Prada straight from Vogue Magazine to looking like an inhabitant of Planet Pluto, you can find them here. Nyorkers are also confident to show off their "assets". When it is summer, go to Central Park and you would understand what I mean. You would even ask yourself, why the hell did they even try to wear something that skimpy when you can literally see all "thy kingdom come?"
 
4. All kind of love can be found here in NY. Too much self- love (narcissism), love for dogs, cats, snakes even the whole animal planet, love for sex, love for fashion which is tantamount to love of credit cards. Of course there is the love between a man and a woman yet I find it more interesting to see the love between a man and 2, 3 up to 4 women. Not to mention the love between 2 Adams, between 2 Eves and love that depends on the season. When I first saw two hot women making out in Bryant Park (and also biting each other lovingly), I was such in awe and it was only seconds before I tripped. Blame it on rude staring. One time I sat on the steps of the National Library and caught a glimpse of how handsome the men in NY are. I enjoyed so much the experience especially when two men/ two women who are obviously lovers pass by. This I don't get to see everyday in my country.
 
5. Nyorkers are beautiful and handsome. Well it depends really on your perception of what is beautiful or ugly. Combine your perception of beauty with your sense of smell too.
 
6. Nyorkers are rude. Ooops! Let me correct myself. There are rude people,
slightly rude people and the extremely, to the max, to the utmost rude people. In the subway, you may find yourself unlucky if your morning greeting or goodnight message is "Pak You, MaderPaker!", "What the Pak are you looking at?" or even "Watch your Paking mouth or I Paking beat the Pak out of you!" I call them the PAKERS (pronounced with the short a sound). In order not to be sucked into their warped zone, just imagine that you are a small stone who can just stare at the pair of shoes of the person sitting across you.  
7. But to be fair to humankind, there are still those who have souls. There are many friendly Nyorkers but sometimes it gets annoying especially when they are too friendly. In cave man's term, they are excessively wanting attention! Throughout the time I have been here, I have learned to greet random people on the street which in my country, we don't usually do. If someone greets me, I reply graciously too and say "Have a good day" since I don't want to mistaken as a PAKER.
 
8. As a teacher, I have discovered that grammar is not so important to most Nyorkers. As long as they understand you, there is no problem thus world peace. They call it "functional english". And Nyorkers have this distinct accent and way speaking which I will expound later in the book. I got used already to this mode of communication. I also tell my friends who plan to work here that they should not waste time to correct the grammar of "We was at the mall today" or don't lose your hair if the spelling of turtle is turtel or turtell.
 
9. New York is Shopping Paradise. All the original as well as the fake can be bought here. Prada becomes Prado, Louis Vuitton becomes Lou Biton and Burberry becomes Bruberry. You can buy them from Chang Li or from Joe my Man! You can also ask for discounts. Unlike in my country, you can go inside any store or shop like Macys, JC Penny, Banana Republic, Gap, H & M, Lord and Taylor and many others without the salesperson giving you "the eye" if you don't' buy anything.However, if you are anti –piracy, anti fakelore, go to Fifth Avenue at go inside stores like Chanel, Tiffany and Co., Escada, Gucci, Cartier, etc. Just don't forget to bring a pill for dizziness or bring a person to catch your fall when you faint upon seeing the prices of the items. Consider the prices of a watch, blouse, a handkerchief or even a pen as more expensive compared to the value of your life. Include also the life of your mom, cousin or even your neighbor from the other block.
 
10. If you have read number 9, you should know already that CREDIT CARDS are the "lifeline" of Nyorkers. I discovered that Cash is not used so much in business transactions here. Within two years, I was like a Pavlov Dog who gets excited when I hear the sound of my credit card "Ka ching!" and salivate at the sign, "please swipe your card". I am now conditioned to "hand over" my card everytime I buy something. I am proud to say that I always pay my dues on time since I took the warning seriously, "If you abuse your credit cards, you will dive, try to swim and eventually drown in debt".
 
11. NYC welcomes all ARTISTS. From painters, singers, dancers even to that green man who pretends to be the Statue of Liberty in the Subway station. I am his fan because he does not move for a long time considering that I can't even hold my breath for ten seconds. Arts decorate NY. Just visit different Musuems like the Met, MoMa,Guggenheim, Museum of Natural History and so many others and it will be an experience, an amazing one. However, if you are the risk taker type, go to The Bronx and try to decipher the Graffiti in front, side and back of apartment buildings. Of course, the PAKERS are the artists. If you can distinguish the details of the graffiti "PAK YOU" and "MADERPAKER LIFE", then you are considered an "Advocate of the Arts." Live up to the role and give a quarter or a dollar if you are not a cheapskate to the man who plays his guitar so PAKING good or to the group of dancers that you secretly envy since they can dance like they have no bones.
 
12. New York has four seasons namely Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall (come on, don't be shy to sing the song). I particularly hate winter (obviously since I came from a tropical country). Aside from being so cold, I feel that I am transported to the North Pole and I hate the process of dressing up so I won't end up as a living icicle. First, put on the thermal shirt followed by the thermal pants. Second, put on a thick shirt plus a sweater and a wool jacket. Third wear waterproof pants and do not ever forget to put on the coat, hat, gloves/ mittens and the matching scarf. Approximately for four months, my fashion statement is "Frosty the Snowman."