Lester and Carolyn Burnham are on the outside, a perfect husband and wife, in a perfect house, in a perfect neighborhood. But inside, Lester is slipping deeper and deeper into a hopeless depression. He finally snaps when he becomes infatuated with one of his daughters friends. Meanwhile, his daughter Jane is developing a happy friendship with a shy boy-next-door named Ricky who lives with a homophobic father.

Here are some classic quotes from the film...

Lester Burnham: My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.

Lester Burnham: Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's.

Brad Dupree: [reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself. 
Lester Burnham: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.

Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.

Carolyn Burnham: You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!

Carolyn Burnham: Fuck me, your majesty!

Brad Dupree: Man, you are one twisted fuck.
Lester Burnham: Nope, I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.

Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts every time I bring a girlfriend home from school.

Ricky Fitts: It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

Mickey Rourke plays Henry Chinaski, a poet and alcoholic. He spends his life in bars in Los Angeles, drinking every night. One day he meets Wanda, also a alcoholic and falls in love with her. Wanda is not like his former girlfriends, one is still able to see the beauty she once was before she started to drink. Together they meet Tully Sorenson, who wants to publish some of Henry's poems. For a short time he becomes famous but in the end it is clear that Henry and Wanda have only one goal in life: drinking to forget the lousy life they live outside the bars of Los Angeles.

Here are some classic quotes from the film...

Wanda: I hate people. Do you hate people? 
Henry: I don't hate people. I just like it a lot better when they're not around.

Henry: I remember ordering a draught, barkeep. What, are you out of brew, or has that lobotomy finally taken hold?

Tully: Why don't you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk.
Henry: Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.

Henry: This is a world where everybody's gotta do something. Y'know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody's gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that.  [sighs]

When folk icon Irving Steinbloom passed away, he left behind a legacy of music and a family of performers he has shepherded to folk stardom. To celebrate a life spent submerged in folk, Irving's loving son Jonathan has decided to put together a memorial concert featuring some of Steinbloom's best-loved musicians. There's Mitch and Mickey, who were the epitome of young love until their partnership was torn apart by heartbreak; classic troubadours The Folksmen, whose records were endlessly entertaining for anyone able to punch a hole in the center to play them; and The New Main Street Singers, the most meticulously color-coordinated neuftet ever to hit an amusement park. Now for one night only in New York City's Town Hall, these three groups will reunite and gather together to celebrate the music that almost made them famous.

Here are a few classic quotes from the film...

Mike LaFontaine: I worked some bills with a few Folkies, you know, 'Put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him, put 'em in a cell with a long hose on him,' Ha. But if you put him in a cell with a long hose on him, he'd make a lot of friends in the shower room.

Terry Bohner: There was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature.

Mitch Cohen: I would love to see this town in the autumn. I think Crabbeville in autumn would look quite magnificent.

Amber Cole: Thank God for the model trains, you know? If they didn't have the model trains they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.

Mitch Cohen: I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun?

Laurie Bohner: I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, "Not-So-Tiny Tim".

Terry Bohner: This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff's hooey, and you've got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store.

Where Cancer becomes reality

Jackson Memorial Hospital  - University of Miami Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center

Pasquale W. Benedetto, MD - Medical Oncology (Specialty: Testicular Cancer)

 With all of the gray areas, varieties of staging, etc...I knew I needed a specialist, one who may have seen a case or two of this rare form of cancer.  He is just that, and a whole lot more so far.  He's very knowledgeable, personable and spends as much time as needed during each appointment (the only downside of that is it's about a 2 hour wait getting in to see him.)  One major distinction between Dr. B and others who treat this disease is that Dr. B does not believe in doing the RPLND surgery, just right into Chemotherapy when needed.  He'd rather see you skip this major surgery, especially since almost 50% of the patients end up having to do adjuvant chemo post-surgery.

I'm going to skip the details on all of the tests, CT scans, blood test follow ups, PET scan, etc...It's all about where I'm at know...

At this point, the markers have gone down to 'normal' level, unfortunately though they're not too reliable in detecting disease when results are not positive.  When they are positive (higher than normal range), then it is accurate...you know you're ready for treatment.  The other issue is that I have one node in the abdomen which is highly suspicious of being cancerous, but it's not real big at this point. I believe Dr. B is erring on the conservative side, since there is a small chance that the node could go away, although that would be unlikely.  It also happens to be in the exact spot the cancer typically travels & spreads to. 

The other issue is that there are some patch spots on my lungs (the lungs are usually the next place the cancer would travel to, and it is said that the Embryonal type has a knack for skipping right into the lungs.)  The doctor is not quite sure what it is yet, since cancer there usually just looks like nodes, not patch white stuff.  In a nutshell (sorry), I am in limbo, which really sucks...I just want to either hear that somehow it's all gone, or start the friggin treatment, pick up some lolipops and get it over with! 

The doc is right though, he wants to just keep checking it and if the node doesn't go away/gets bigger, markers go up, lung picture becomes 'clearer', or any of these things happen...then we'll start treatment. 

Next appointment with Dr. B. is next Friday, October 14th...We'll do another CT Scan, blood tests and then see what's what...Wish me luck.

Tests all in...Oncology-bound

Blood markers were elevated (AFP=27) pre-orchiectomy, went down to 10 post-orchiectomy (which is what you want since the serum half-life of AFP is approximately 4-5 d after orchidectomy).  One more week and the AFP was 3.5 - doing what it should so far. 

The bad news was that it looks like there is a node in abdomen which is typically where spread begins from the Lymph Nodes.  It is not large, approx. 1.5 cm.  There is possible spread to the lungs, but the tests are not conclusive on those thusfar.

The next step as indicated by Dr. Marks (and logic), was to find an Oncologist to go on to the next step in the process.

Enter Pasquale Benedetto, MD. (Not as cool a name as Trapper, but pretty good in it's own right)...

NSGCT

The pathology, blood tests (markers) & CT Scan results:

PATHOLOGY: 

NSGTC (Non-seminomatous Germ Cell Tumor)- comprised of 99% Embryonal Carcinoma, with a splash of Choriocarcinoma (see Lance Armstrong).

Embryonal Carcinoma:

• 2.3% of testicular germ cell tumors
• 40% of all germ cell tumors have some embryonal component
• 87% of non-seminomatous germ cell tumors
• Average about 2.5 cm
• Embryonal carcinoma is characterized by rapid and bulky growth and by spread via lymphatic and hematogenous routes to distant viscera (eg, lungs, liver). More than 60% of patients have metastases at the time of presentation. Pain is a common feature in these patients.

I had to get the kind that spreads like butter on a corn muffin!  The doctors guage the chance of spreading by the percentage of Embryonal Cell within the original tumor.  Since mine is pretty much 'pure embryonal cell', you can see where we're at there!  Oh well, hopefully I got it early enough that metastases would be limited. 

Stay tuned...

Hurricane Rita, the bitch.

Well, the Orchiectomy procedure on the 25th of August, happened to coincide with the arrival of Hurricane Rita (always hated the name Rita, especially the bitch landlord that I had).  I went home later that day of the operation, and that night Rita blew in.  I went back to my parents place for a more comfortable recovery, and a great nurse named Ellie. 

Pain to move, breath, and god forbid laugh.  The Darvocet helped a bit and I got used to it.  What sucked more than anything, was that only 2 hours into my recovery time, wouldn't you know Bitch Rita took out the power...and it was off for the next 2 1/2 days!  Now I had to recover with no A/C, 100% humidity and HEAT!  By the 2nd day it was really stuffy, uncomfortable, painful and of course I had no means of entertainment to take my mind off of my groin, except for People magazines, a radio & the occassional chats with mom, farts from Dad.

Not an ideal recovery, but I really appreciated Power when it finally came back on. 

My family has been great thru all of this and all checked up on me in person & via telephone.

August 25, 2005 - The Inguinal Orchiectomy

My birthday present...

The Orchiectomy

The actual removal is done by making about a 5 inch incision along the "bikini line" through the lower abdomen on the side in question--they do NOT cut through the scrotal sack whatsoever. Once the incision has been made, the surgeon pushes the testicle up through the pelvic region and out it comes. A snip here, a stitch there, and you're done before you know it. Average time on the table is about 45 minutes to an hour, but you should probably expect to stay in the hospital at least overnight. The operation is very simple and does not require any special expertise on the part of the surgeon. Note that while most people do seem to stay overnight, more and more guys are going home the same day. There is no problem with this, just make sure you get some pain killers before you leave the hospital, just in case...

I really don't have any hangups as far as losing any of my 'manhood' or the looks of it...many guys actually get prosthetic implants, but I can find better things to do with my money (that is, if I had any).

August 17, 2005 - Dr. Jeffrey Marks, Urologist appt.

For some reason or another, I didn't procrastinate in going to get this thing checked out, and I knew it was time to find a Urologist.  After telling my Dad about my symptoms, he found out that one of my brother Rob's friends is a Urologist and after confirming he was listed in my insurance plan, I made the appointment.

After donating some urine, the doc came in and saw my name, introduced himself and told me how nice my brother & Jilll are, & then he felt my balls (not an everyday-meet someone-occurence for me).  He said, "I don't like what I'm feeling."  I should have been offended, but I knew what he meant. He said that he suspected it to be Testicular Cancer.  Man, for someone who's always thinking about exiting this earth because life sucks, I got a real pit-of-the-stomach-type reaction.  SHIT...CANCER! 

The Ultrasound

It was time to go to the room down the hall where, and I kid you not, one of his PA's, a pretty female no less, told me to lower my pants & drawers and lay down on the cold table.  She then rubbed, what must have been KY all over the 'area' and rubbed it with this probe-thingy.  I'm glad that Anna Kournikova wasn't on my mind at the time!  Needless to say, the Ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis.  

With that, Dr. Marks said that we would need to remove said twin asap, and sent me off to get blood work (for markers) & a chest x-ray.  My Inguinal Orchiectomy was set up for the following week.  I walked out of the office, alone & stunned...and my damn groin was hurting from everyone fondlin' me parts!

In the beginning...

Sometime around the end of July (ish), I noticed that my left testicle felt abnornal.  It was somewhat bumpy & a bit sensitive to the touch.  I figured at the time that I'd just see if time would heal whatever it happened to be.  As a few weeks went by, it became harder, heavier (hung down lower that the right), and was more sensitive to the touch, while my whole groin area began to ache periodically.  At that point I figured, what could possibly go wrong with your testicles, other than Testicular Cancer?