Silly Facts You Don't Need to Know...

• The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. 

• A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

• The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

• All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

• Almonds are a member of the peach family.

• Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and it can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "LA"

• A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

• In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

• The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."

• A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

• A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

• It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

• Who's that singing & playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.

• In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

• The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ".

• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

• John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

• "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

Headlines - October, 7, 2005

• Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

• Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

• Defendant's speech ends in long sentence

• Asbestos suit pressed

• Doctor testifies in horse suite

• Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly

• Police begin campaign to rundown jaywalkers

• Tuna biting off Washington coast 

And finally...

• 10 Revolting officers executed
  
  
  
  

Just thought I'd share...I just want to express myself, like Madonna said to...

This waiting is really annoying me.  I'll have to wait and stay tuned until next friggin' friday to possibly find out if the node(s)' growing, just what the hell is going on inside of me.  It's a sinister plot to make me more anxiety-riddled than I already am normally, I tell you.  For god's sake (why do people always say for god sakes...makes no sense), my stomach is producing more acid than vendors at a Grateful Dead concert, I've got headaches every day and on top of that, my face is breaking out! 

Ok, I'm done for now. I'll stop. I swear.  It's just hard you know.  Hey why are you still reading?  I said I was done.

Some interesting records & facts...

• The blue whale is the largest animal that ever lived (it could reach 100 feet long and weight up to 150 tons!)

• The longest bout of hiccups lasted 69 years!

• The smallest cat is the Singapuras and weighs only 4 pounds

• The longest movie made lasts 85 hours and is fittingly titled "The Cure for Insomnia."

• The deadliest disease was the pneumonic form of the Black Death of 1347-1351. It had death rate of 100%.

• Hans Langseth had the longest beard at a record length of 17 1/2 feet long! When he died, his beard was given to the Smithsonian Institute.

• The fastest bird is the peregrine falcon. It can fly at a speed of 168-217 miles per hour.
  

This is an actual road sign...

The movie starts out with Arthur, King of the Britons, looking for knights to sit with him at Camelot. He finds many knights including Sir Galahad the pure, Sir Lancelot the brave, the quiet Sir Bedevere, and Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir Lancelot. They do not travel on horses, but pretend they do and have their servants bang coconuts to make the sound of horse's hooves. Through satire of certain events in history (witch trials, the black plague) they find Camelot, but after literally a quick song and dance they decide that they do not want to go there. While walking away, God (who seems to be grumpy) come to them from a cloud and tells them to find the Holy Grail. They agree and begin their search. While they search for the Grail, scenes of the knight's tales appear and why they have the name they have. Throughout their search they meet interesting people and knights along the way. Most of the characters die; some through a killer rabbit (which they defeat with the holy hand grenade), others from not answering a question right from the bridge of Death, or die some other ridiculous way. In the end, King Arthur and Sir Bedevere are left and find the Castle Arrrghhh where the Holy Grail is. They are met by some French soldiers who taunted them earlier in the film, so they were not able to get into the castle.

Here are some classic quotes from the film...

Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis split...

Sir Robin: That's enough singing for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.

King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector:  I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

French Soldier: Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.

Woman: Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here!

Knight 1: ...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... WITH... A HERRING!

Today's Headlines - Thurs. Oct. 6, 2005

• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

• Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

• Eye Drops off Shelf

• Stolen Painting Found by Tree

• Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

•  Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

• Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  
  
  
  
  

Today's Headlines - Wed. October 5, 2005

(as written & reported by DWR)

• Latest study links excess pasta consumption in males between the ages of 42 - 42 1/2 to an increased risk of visceral smegmulation.
• Studies show that young boys who ride the bus to school, arrive just in time for various events to take place.
• According to the National Artichoke Research Foundation (C.H.O.K.E.), asphyxiation is more likely a result of lost luggage than anything else.
• New Orleans has sustained more rainfall in the past two months than it has at other times.
• Cold wave linked to temperatures.
• Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years.
• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say.
• Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.
• War dims hope for peace.
• Organ festival ends in smashing climax.
• Queen Mary having bottom scraped.
• Iraqi head seeks arms.
• Typhoon rips through cemetery - hundreds dead.

Check out some classic hockey quotes...

Jim McKenny:  "Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental."

Jacques Plante:  "How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"

Brett Hull:  "I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie."

Doug Larson:  "Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept."

Wayne Gretzky:  "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

Gordie Howe:  "American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity." 

Jimmy Cannon:  "A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another."

Rodney Dangerfield:  "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."

Paul Coffey:  "When we've got the puck, they can't score."

Ken Dryden:  "There are two types of forwards. Scorers and bangers. Scorers score and bangers bang."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:  "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my (expletive) clothes."

Tony Amonte, on possessing the NHL’s second-longest active playing streak:  "It must be the body. It’s chiseled out of marshmallows."

Herb Brooks, 1980 US Olympic hockey coach:  "You don't have enough talent to win on talent alone."

Jeremy Roenick, on the trade rumors around captain Keith Tkachuk: "The only difference between the Coyotes and ‘Days of Our Lives’ is that nobody has been shot on our team yet."

Phil Esposito, on his daughter Carrie getting engaged to  Alexander Selivanov: "I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he’s a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her.  I said: "You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time."

Serge Savard, on his firing from Montreal, "I have to thank the guy who fired me because he was also the guy who hired me."

And last but certainly not least...

Reggie Dunlop: . They spent their own dough to get here, and they came here to see us! All right, let's show 'em what we got, guys! Get out there on the ice and let 'em know you're there. Get that fuckin' stick in their side. Let 'em know you're there! Get that lumber in his teeth. Let 'em know you're there!

Novelist Paul Sheldon crashes his car on a snowy New England road. He is found by Annie Wilkes, the "number one fan" of Paul's heroine Misery Chastaine. Annie is also somewhat unstable, and Paul finds himself crippled, drugged and at her mercy.

Here are some classic quotes from the film...

Annie Wilkes: I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan.

Annie Wilkes: Anything else I can get for you while I am in town? How about a tiny tape recorder, or how about a homemade pair of writing slippers?
Paul Sheldon: Annie, what's the matter?
Annie Wilkes: What's the matter? WHAT'S THE MATTER? I will tell you "what's the matter!" I go out of my way for you! I do everything to try and make you happy. I feed you, I clean you, I dress you, and what thanks do I get? "Oh, you bought the wrong paper, Anne, I can't write on this paper, Anne!" Well, I'll get your stupid paper but you just better start showing me a little appreciation around here, Mr. MAN!

Annie Wilkes: MISERY IS ALIVE, MISERY IS ALIVE! OH, This whole house is going to be full of romance, OOOH, I AM GOING TO PUT ON MY LIBERACE RECORDS!

Annie Wilkes: Oh forgive me Paul for prattling away and making everything all oogy.

Annie Wilkes: He didn't get out of the COCKADOODIE CAR!

Annie Wilkes: I thought you were good Paul... but you're not good. You're just another lying ol' dirty birdy.

Annie Wilkes: Now the time has come. I put two bullets in my gun. One for me, and one for you. Oh darling, it will be so beautiful.