Dok tgh upload new pictures nih!! U be gud tau

Helo check,dok baca blog ni pasai apa? i thot u got work to do..hehe..got nothin to say except i luv you soooo  muchhhh...

i got a bump on my head. hehe

pasal apa la tu hehe

mummy is right, i am depressed, but i am denying it. no way i can admit that in her face or anyone. i can cry though, but that would be perceived wrongly, so go figure.

all i can say is that, in ths world, to ASSUME is to bring up the ASS between U n ME.

at this point i think it is worthy to say that i am already married and living with my parents. things are not as rosy that might be painted by the four walls of this two storey bungalow because inside, or at least inside my head, everything is in a constant conflict and turmoil.

which is what we can say about our country too, actually. but never mind that. lets discuss matters closer to home- matter AT HOME.

assumption.

azrul is assuming that the family is not comfortable with his presence. everything and everyword that anyone says that might sound remotely unpleasent will be perceived in the worst possible way feeding to this idea.

abah is having a retiree complex- namely emotionally dependant, problem scrutinizing and borderline schizophrenic. everybody has a dark ulterior motives. abah is untrusting to the people close to him but sometimes is completely friendly with total strangers.

abah n i has always been the best of friends despite sometimes we feel like we totally cant stand each other. we have always been chummy but is it me or is abah is being slightly clingier these days? actually abah has been clingy ever since retiring, especially to nina but she has always has a colder heart. for me i just cant stand hurting feelings who are nothing but fond. coz actually, i am that way too.

enter azrul. he comes from a totally different genre of family. different, different, different. things are strange and wrong in this family to him. 

oh god, things are becoming fuzzy in my head again. i really dunno how to express these things i have in my head, and these heavy feelings i have in my heart. i am so confused. thank you mosquito for biting me on the legs because at least i can distinctively say that i have an itch there. otherwise i am numb.

i was awakened my sayang with the news dat petrol price has been increased yet again to 30 sen a litre.

paklah, go fish urself and die.

it is as if the trials and tribulations are goin to be nothing but more challenging from now on. probably the climax has passed, but the aftermath is just as painful in the ass as everything else. i have the feeling this episode is just an interlude of bigger things to come.

but why sayang, have u been nothing but sweetness to me?

to date, you are facing a scrimp for cash,and u are overloaded with work. u just got back frm shuttling between pahang, kelantan and terengganu, but off u went to johor with nothing but the clothes on your back, for TWO DAYS right after. then there's your bosses and superiors who are more often than not a bunch of clowns trying to turn you into a black sheep. in fact the whole bloody maxis is a huge circus.

i really dont know what else to say than that i love you very much and i am grateful that you are right here with me despite all you are facing, through the hardest points and uncertainties in my life.

its a dog eat god world. i mean really. maybe it's to commemorate the chinese dog year dis year.

when it rains, it pours. juz when things r already fished up, we HAVE to be short of cash NOW.

It could be said that misery "...is not created nor destroyed, merely transformed". - The Law of Conservation of Misery

we shouldnt have gone to kl yesterday. if not, azrul could've avoided a fucked up blame-storming meeting and i could've avoided a fucked up accident.

im still too distraught to write more.

it's a fucked up monday.

it is so unfair dat i haf such limited online time, coz it has been quite a week n i dun haf enuf time to blog them down.

even so, lemme say that there r time that were quite filled, i lost one day coz by wednesday, i thought it was still tuesday.  

other than that, by then, i have also manage to get myslef a flu bug that was quite bad, but even so, never did it thwarted my outing with azrul, his dad n my parents. we went to nilai 3 to window shop n check out what the hype was all about that place. it was bloody hot, the shops r not all that, and it was also super awkward having to fold in the whole household into azrul's accord (did i mention dat i felt like throwing up the whole way).

 needless to say , it was one of the best days of my life. i slept that nite, exhauseted, tired, but beaming with the progress of the unification of our two families.

fish, i need to ciao. stupid mpsj might just tow my gandalf away.