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| Published: Feb.07.2007 @ 8:16 am
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Why do we need a Religion?

The question is "Why do we need a religion?" I
am not going to answer this particular question directly.
In fact, I
view the "religion" itself as being offensive. It is a
misrepresentation of the word "deen", which means a complete,
structured, divinely ordained way of life.
Therefore I say
"Why are we in need of a correct way of life?"
Some May Ask, Why Talk About This? But Look Around You, How many in Fact do understand there religion?.. How many praticy in Love toward's Allah The Al Mighty? Our Problem Today is Lack.weakness and a very low Caracter..No Iman and Only eye's for all what's actually are forbidding to us. Did Allah The Al Migthy Ever Tell You; That Your Life Should Be with An Among of Gold,Money and material Thing's? Did Allah The Al Mighty Ever Tell You; That Thing's Around You, Should Be A Goal to Archieve? Did Allah The Al Mighty Ever Tell You; That Even He Forbid, You would Be Allowed To Try Them? No...Allah The Al Migthy Never Told You That ! Its Very Clear, That The Most Importent Word's Allah The Al Mighty Sent Toward's Human's Are Forgotten!
The essence of faith is to worship Allah – Allah says, "And I
(Allâh) created not the jinns and humans except they should
worship Me (Alone)." 51:56 If one worships God sincerely, He will provide him with the best things. Hazrat Zahra (A.S)We have been placed on this earth for a special purpose, and one day we
will be questioned regarding the fulfillment of that purpose, and
whether we have fulfilled our obligations to God, society and to
ourselvesReligion must address essential humanistic needs - physical needs,
societal needs, emotional needs and psychological needs.
My mission
today is to show you what Islam puts forward in relation to these
needs.
It is not my purpose to "win you over to Islam." We hold firmly that
your entering Islam will not benefit Allah in all His Glory in any way,
and His Glory will not be diminished by your rejection of Islam. My
mission is simply to get you acquainted with what one-fifth of the
world’s population espouse as being the Ultimate Truth. It is to
clarify your doubts, address your stereotypical assumptions and to call
you to the realization that Allah calls you to worship Him Alone
Physical need Turning first to physical needs - it is essential that a person’s
physical needs be met, regardless of the individual’s place or
situation. Examples of physical needs include food, the quenching of
one’s physical thirst, the displacement of one’s sexual drive, the need
for freedom, security and peace.
Islam touches upon all of those
essential aspects of our physical life – what we eat, how we eat, why
we eat, with whom we share our food, etc. It is a complete way of life.
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) gave the
example of an individual who is in the middle of the desert, and his
camel runs away, taking with it all his provisions.
He will raise his
hands in supplication and will say, "O Allah, feed me", but his food
that he had was from haram or unlawful sources, and his clothing was
from haram or unlawful sources.
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa
Salaam - Peace be upon him) asked, how can this man expect that Allah
will accept his supplication and prayers?
This shows the importance in
Islam of fulfilling our physical needs in the correct manner.
As
Muslims we do not simply seek out sustenance and nourishment. Rather we
seek out lawful means to earn the wealth with which we purchase our
foods.
A true Muslim would prefer to forgo special foods purchase from
illicit sources and eat in its place bread and water.
In Islam, the difference between halal (lawful things) and haram
(unlawful things) is the articulation of a word and the righteous
intention that accompanies it.
A good example is marriage. The
difference between halal and haram personal relations between a man and
a woman is that the bride and the groom saying "I accept" – that
utterance governs the entire future of those two people.
In Islam,
marriage is essential, and having relations outside of marriage is
haram – it is a social vice that is deemed worthy of punishment.
Therefore we see that the discharge of ones’ physical needs – food,
water, and lusts – are governed by the Laws of Allah.
As such, we begin to now see that Islam means to submit to Allah to
attain peace with Allah.
The scholars of Islam have stated that the
essence of Islam is captured in the Qur’an.
The essence of the Qur’an
in turn is encompassed in the opening chapter of the Qur’an wherein
Allah states
With the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
All the praises and thanks be to Allâh, the Lord of the
'Alamîn (all that exists).
The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
The Only Owner (and the Only Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense
(i.e. the Day of Resurrection).
You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and
everything).
Guide us to the Straight Way
The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of
those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray
And the essence of the opening chapter of the Qur’an is contained in
one verse of the opening chapter: Iyyaaka na’budu wa iyyaaka nasta’een
– You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and
everything).
Thus, the essence of Islam to is to submit only to Allah.
It is also important to note that Islam contains a martial law that
dictate the mannerisms of warfare – laws that are so strict that if a
Muslim breaks them against a non-Muslim, the non-Muslim is viewed as
being oppressed, and the Muslim is the oppressor.
In Islam we hold
firmly that if in such a situation the Muslim would be deemed a sinner
and at risk of being worthy of Allah’s Wrath and punishment.
As human beings we understand the necessity of a person’s way of life
being fluid – inflexible in some circumstances, but malleable in
others.
Muslims come from many, many different nationalities – but they
all believe in the same thing, perform the same acts and submit in
unison to Allah.
Islam is fluid, and accessible to all nationalities.
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) informed
that he came to teach both the light and the dark in complexion.
And
the Qur’an states that: Omankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you
into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the
most honourable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has
At-Taqwa (piety). Verily, Allâh is All-Knowing, All-Aware."
Al-Hujurat (49:13)
Social needs
In Islam, it is an individual’s responsibility to his Creator that he
lives among the people according to Islam.
Therefore, for example, an
employee should be diligent, punctual and perform his duties correctly
– not because he is afraid that he will be fired or he may suffer a pay
cut, but only because he fears Allah.
He or she knows that Allah is
judging them in how well they fulfill their duties and the obligations
that they have been delegated.
Similarly, the family situation is based
on love, trust, caring and openness, not because a person is a mother
or father, but because their Creator directs them to treat their family
members with love, respect and justness.
Environmental laws
Islam also dictates that we share what Allah has given us on this
earth. Islam contains more specific laws relating to the physical
environment than any other faith.
For example, the Prophet (sala Allahu
‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) said: "A woman has been brought
to the door of Hell because she was cruel to a cat." His companions
asked, "How could this be?" He replied, "She confined the cat to a cage
so it could not go out and find food, and she did not feed it herself."
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) also
said, "A man has been granted admission to Paradise because he gave
water to a thirsty dog."
Once the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) saw
a camel with tears in its eyes.
The Prophet consoled the camel, and
noticed that it had an excessive load of burden on its back, which was
causing it to be distressed.
The Prophet ((sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam
- Peace be upon him) admonished the person who had done this to the
camel.
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) would
often give his lessons under the shade of a tree. He informed his that
the tree can hear him and benefits from his nearness.
The Prophet (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) said,
"If an individual has an opportunity to plant a tree, even if he knows
the Day of Judgment is imminent, let him plant the tree."
The Prophet
((sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) taught us that we
would be rewarded for planting a tree even if the fruits of the tree
were stolen – because planting the tree itself is an act that is
sanctioned by Allah.
We are Allah’s vicegerents on the earth; it has been given us in trust.
Just as we are not the lords of nature and the world, so the world is
not our property which we can dispose of as we wish or as we are able.
Allah created nature and it belongs to Allah.
Everything in nature is a
sign of Allah’s existence; that is, a token or missive.
The Qur’an
expresses this truth as follows.
"We shall show them our signs in the [furthest] regions [of the earth],
and in their own souls." Fussilat 41:53
"Behold! In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the
alternation of the night and the day; in the sailing of the ships
through the ocean for the profit of mankind; in the rain which God
sends down from the skies, and the life which He gives therewith to an
earth that is dead; in the beasts of all kinds that He scatters through
the earth; in the change of the winds, and the clouds subjugated
between the sky and earth — [here] indeed are signs for a people who
think." Al-Baqarah 2:16. Emotional needs and the Importance of family
relationships
Islam also teaches us the importance of the family relationship.
The
relationship in the home is a relationship that builds communities.
The
first people that the Prophets would tell of their Divine Message were
their own family members – for example, after seeing the burning bush,
Moses first went home and told his immediate family of what he had
seen; when Noah heard that the flood was about to come, he first went
and told his family.
The same was true of the Prophet Mohammad (sala
Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) – the first people that he
told about his message were his wife, his best friend, his cousin and
his adopted son.
The Muslims must follow this example.
When Muslims give anything –
whether it be knowledge or material things – they must begin first with
their immediate families, and spread from there to their friends,
neighbours and extended families.
Rules for living in society
Islam seeks to stamp out all vices. So intoxication is forbidden in all
its forms – alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc – because intoxication leads
to decay in society.
Extra-marital activities are also forbidden for a
similar reason. The taking of a human life without due cause is
forbidden.
The Qur’an states – as does the Torah – that the one who
gives life to an individual – that is, saves a human life – it is as if
he has brought life to all of humanity; and the one who kills an
individual, it is as if he has brought death to all of humanity.
But
the Qur’an also states – as does the Torah – an eye for an eye and a
tooth for a tooth.
The one who begins the aggression is the oppressor.
Islam has a shari’ah – a set of laws or rules which Muslims must
follow. In Islam, one cannot say that man-made laws could ever be
better than laws ordained by Allah.
The Qur’an states: "Should not He
Who has created know (what is best for His Creation)?
And He is the
Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves) All-Aware (of everything)."
Al-Mulk 67:14
Why Islam?
Why do we have to follow a shari’ah or divine law?
Why this way of
life?
What is so valuable about this way of life that would cause
people to leave the path they have known their whole life and join
Islam?
The answer is simple. It is not always a person’s own choice, but a
guidance from Allah.
The Qur’an says that the example of one who
receives guidance is as of one who has life.
And the example of one who
does not receive guidance is as one who is dead.
Success is not tangible or measurable – one can never be rich enough,
or pretty enough, or ever have enough things.
As the Prophet (sala
Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) said, "If a man was given
a valley of gold, he would search for another one."
But in Islam, the individual recognises that no matter how high he is,
he can never be free of need.
No matter how high he is, it can be taken
from him instantly – especially if his status and position is
ill-gotten.
Also – and perhaps more importantly – the individual
realises that no matter how depressed he is, there is always Allah
watching over him, and it could always be worse.
The individual knows
that there is something more than the 60 or 70 years on this earth, and
that there will come a day when he will be asked about how he fulfilled
his obligations.
There are three essential elements to belief
in Allah:
1) Belief that there is a Creator and a Rabb - Lord.
2) Belief that the Creator is singular and the only one deserving of
worship since He Alone is the sole Creator. As well if there was more
than one, they would compete with each other. Allah is the only One
solely worthy of worship.
3) Belief in the attributes of the Creator – this entails learning
about who Allah is and how He describes Himself to us through study of
the scriptures so as to recognize Him and maintain our duties to Him.
I challenge you to pick up
any copy of the Qur’an and read it, see why it attracts so many. Feel
its resonance in your heart.
This is not different from the method of
those at the time of the Prophet Mohammad (sala Allahu ‘Alihi wa Salaam
- Peace be upon him): a group of people would walk past and hear the
recitation of a passage from the Qur’an, and it would bring tears to
their eyes.
The method is the same as that which worked to bring people
to the truth at the time of Jesus (alihi as Salaam- Peace be upon him)
– he would say to people "Follow me", and they would follow him,
because they would hear the truth in what he said.
Think of the power of the testimony of Faith that Muslims constantly
affirm in word, inner belief and outward action. The Shaahaada –
Testimony of Faith is simple yet complex.
In it we show our complete
belief in the fact that Allah – we bear witness that He is the only one
worth worship.
You cannot bear witness to something unless you have
seen it.
None of us have seen God, or the Prophet Mohammad (sala Allahu
‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him), but we bear witness based on the
certainty of our faith that there is a God, and Mohammad (sala Allahu
‘Alihi wa Salaam - Peace be upon him) is His Messenger.
We pray five times a day – not when we want to, but at prescribed times
throughout the day.
We fast – even from the things that are lawful,
such as water and food – simply to show God that we are willing to
sacrifice anything to please Him.
We give charity – 2.5% of the money saved from throughout the year – to
aid those in need.
We perform pilgrimage – the pilgrimage that changes lives. Malcolm X
hated the concept of integration of races. For him, "the white man was
the devil".
This was a product of the intense oppression suffered by
racial minorities in many countries, especially in the USA. Allah
blessed this man who was full of hatred with pilgrimage.
Malcolm X wrote a letter
from Hajj to his wife, Betty: "Never have I witnessed such
sincere hospitality and overwhelming spirit of true brotherhood as is
practiced by people of all colours and races here in this ancient Holy
Land, the home of Abraham, Muhammad and all the other Prophets of the
Holy Scriptures. For the past week, I have been utterly speechless and
spellbound by the graciousness I see displayed all around me by people
of all colors.
"I have been blessed to visit the Holy City of Mecca, I have made my
seven circuits around the Ka'ba, led by a young Mutawaf named Muhammad,
I drank water from the well of the Zam Zam. I ran seven times back and
forth between the hills of Mt. Al-Safa and Al Marwah. I have prayed in
the ancient city of Mina, and I have prayed on Mt. Arafat."
"There were tens of thousands of pilgrims, from all over the world.
They were of all colors, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned
Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying
a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had
led me to believe never could exist between the white and non-white."
"America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion
that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in
the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who
in America would have been considered white - but the white attitude
was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never
before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all colours
together, irrespective of their colour."
"You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this
pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to
rearrange much of my thought-patterns previously held, and to toss
aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for
me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to
face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new
knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind, which is
necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form
of intelligent search for truth."
"During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten
from the same plate, drunk from the same glass, and slept on the same
rug - while praying to the same God - with fellow Muslims, whose eyes
were the bluest of blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and
whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the deeds
of the white Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the
black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana."
"We were truly all the same (brothers) - because their belief in one
God had removed the white from their minds, the white from their
behaviour, and the white from their attitude."
"I could see from this, that perhaps if white Americans could accept
the Oneness of God, then perhaps, too, they could accept in reality the
Oneness of Man - and cease to measure, and hinder, and harm others in
terms of their 'differences' in colour."
"With racism plaguing America like an incurable cancer, the so-called
'Christian' white American heart should be more receptive to a proven
solution to such a destructive problem. Perhaps it could be in time to
save America from imminent disaster - the same destruction brought upon
Germany by racism that eventually destroyed the Germans themselves. "Each hour here in the Holy Land enables me to have greater spiritual
insights into what is happening in America between black and white. The
American Negro never can be blamed for his racial animosities - he is
only reacting to four hundred years of the conscious racism of the
American whites. But as racism leads America up the suicide path, I do
believe, from the experiences that I have had with them, that the
whites of the younger generation, in the colleges and universities,
will see the handwriting on the walls and many of them will turn to the
spiritual path of truth - the only way left to America to ward off the
disaster that racism inevitably must lead to."
"Never have I been so highly honoured. Never have I been made to feel
more humble and unworthy. Who would believe the blessings that have
been heaped upon an American Negro? A few nights ago, a man who would
be called in America a white man, a United Nations diplomat, an
ambassador, a companion of kings, gave me his hotel suite, his bed.
Never would I have even thought of dreaming that I would ever be a
recipient of such honours - honours that in America would be bestowed
upon a King - not a Negro "All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the Worlds.
Sincerely, Al-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz (Malcolm X)
Such is the power of the pilgrimage. People from all countries come to
Makkah wearing only two pieces of white cloth, all saying "Labbayk
Allahumma labbayk" – "At your service, O Allah, at your service".
The essence of faith is to worship Allah – Allah says, "And I
(Allâh) created not the jinns and humans except they should
worship Me (Alone)." Adh-Dhariyaat 51:56 Aminah.alqaem.org www.aminah.shiahosting.com
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| Published: Jan.09.2007 @ 9:39 am
| Last edited: Jan.09.2007 @ 3:43 am |
BEING A NEW MUSLIM IN A FAMILY OF NON-MUSLIMS
First
of all, if you are in the position of being a new muslim in a family of
non-muslims, then many congratulations to you, and alhumdalillah that
you have been guided to the right path. May Allah(swt) reward you for
your efforts in getting this far, and may Allah (swt) shower many
blessings on you. May you be guided through this transition in your
life and may your faith grow stronger and stronger with each day. May
you become an excellent muslim and through your example may others be
inspired, and may your family find a contentment in your decision
through your new found happiness in your life, inshaAllah.
TELLING YOUR FAMILY YOU HAVE CONVERTED
For
some muslim converts telling their family of their decision is no
problem at all. Some families of converts are very happy at the choice
to become a muslim, and it is welcomed. Unfortunately though for other
converts this is a difficult process, with various obstacles to face.
This
page is designed to help new converts through this experience, or
perhaps even 'old' converts who have kept their new religion hidden for
some time. There is no magical answer as all families are different and
will inevitably react in various ways. However, if we cannot provide
exact answers, we can certainly go a long way to helping converts feel
more comfortable in this situation, and by sharing with each other we
will all grow stronger and more able to face problems inshaAllah.
Before
we get into the possible family problems and the suggested solutions we
should first emphasize that although some converts have some problems,
there are many others who do not. This page is designed to help those
who are met with obstacles, so may, unavoidably, come across as
negative. So please remember that some families of converts are very
happy that their relative has converted. Some reasons for the happy
reactions are as follows:
* they are happy that the relative concerned has found God.
* they are happy that the relative concerned will be leading a moral life, especially in this day and age.
* the family have seen the happiness that the relative concerned has found and this in turn makes them happy.
* they are pleased that the relative concerned now has discipline and stability in their life.
* families knowledgable about Islam, although they may not convert
themselves, realise the truth about Islam (as opposed to the
propaganda).
Please remember that the anticipation of telling
your family about your new religion is often worse than the reality. We
find that we re-run the moment over and over in our minds, imagining
the worst possible outcome. Then, when we come to actually having the
discussion, things go much better than expected.
So, if your worries
are more self created, rather than based on 'real problems' them the
advice would be to just get it over and done with. I totally understand
that this is easier said than done, but having spent a long time
pondering the event myself, I know that I would have been better just
getting on with it. The bottom line is that it is a conversation that
you will have to have with your family, or at least your parents, one
day, so why not get the ball rolling now and start to deal with any
issues that arise.
For those who have bigger concerns with
telling their families, we have tried to identify the common concerns,
and where we can offer some help. This may also be useful to those who
did go ahead and tell their family, but are now experiencing problems.
Please do not look at the possible problems below and get yourselves
worried, we have not identified a possible problem without suggesting a
possible solution.
It is very unlikely that you would face more
than one or two of these problems, if any at all, and anyway it is
better to be prepared just in case.
Possible Concerns to Deal With
There are many ways of overcoming all these concerns.
Let us start by reminding ourselves what the Quran says (2.286):
Allah
(swt) does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of it's
ability; for it is (the benefit of) what it has earned, and upon it
(the evil of) what it has wrought: Our Lord! do not punish us if we
forget or make a mistake; Our Lord! do not lay on us a burden as Thou
didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! do not impose upon us that
which we have not the strength to bear; and pardon us and grant us
protection and have mercy on us, Thou art our Patron, so help us
against the unbelieving people.
If we keep this in mind we will be fine.
Alhumdalillah,
as converts, Allah (swt) immediately allows us this opportunity to
spread Islam within our family and inshaAllah earn some good deeds.
Your
family are religious, practising another faith. How will they react
when they hear you have chosen a different path for yourself?http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution1.html#solution1
Your family are not at all religious and cannot understand why you would want to become religious.http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution2.html#solution2
Your
family have been taken in by the negative propaganda and as a result
they perceive Islam to be violent. Reactions such as 'You are
associating with terrorists'. http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution3.html#solution3
Your family may have the wrong ideas about how Islam treats women.http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution4.html#solution4
Your family think that religion causes war (of course it is people that do this!)http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution5.html#solution5
Your family suggest that you just take the best bits out of all the religions. http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution6.html#solution6
Your family are concerned about 'what will other people think?http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution7.html#solution7
Your
parents in particular may feel that they have 'lost' you, and that you
are no longer the same child that they brought up. Perhaps they feel
that you have betrayed them by selecting a different life for yourselfhttp://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution8.html#solution8
Your family may think that you have become a Muslim because of someone else, and not because you really believe it.http://www.convertstoislam.com/Coping/solution9.html#solution9
Now inshaAllah you feel more prepared, so how do you go about telling your family?
Who to Tell?
When
I use the word 'family' this is referring to whoever you decide. For
myself, I was concerned with telling my parents and my brother about my
change of religion. Telling other family members was something that to
me was not as urgent, but would be necessary in time. I felt that I
wanted to gain the understanding and hopefully the support of my
parents prior to tackling anyone else. For others though, they may have
other family members that they would want to talk to first. Perhaps an
aunt who you feel is open minded and receptive to new ideas, who in
fact, may help you talk with your parents. Or perhaps a brother or
sister would be easier to tell initially before talking to your
parents. This is just something to consider.
What Method to use to tell your family?
The
actual method of telling your family really comes down to the
relationship that you have with them. Have you always had a
relationship that allows the free and easy discussion of any topic? Or
is your relationship good, but discussions of topics that might rock
the boat are rare? Or perhaps you feel you have a not so good
relationship with them.
Face to Face Conversation
I
would advise the best method is to just sit down and talk to them in an
environment that will allow them to express their views freely, ie talk
to them privately, somewhere where they and you feel comfortable. This
will allow for a conversaton to take place, giving them the opportunity
to ask questions and you the opportunity to get across the main points
that you feel are important. I know you may feel that you want some of
your muslim friends with you, but this may stifle your family's
reaction, they may not feel they can ask questions about the religion
in front of a muslim audience for example.
A face to face
conversation also gives you the opportunity to observe their real
reactions and body language, something that will be lost with a
telephone call or letter.
A Letter
If
you feel that you are unable to talk to your family face to face then
writing a letter is an option to consider. A letter has the advantage
of allowing you time to write and re-write until you are happy that you
have expressed yourself in the best possible way. You have the
opportunity to make sure that you include everything that you want and
that the best possible wording is used.
The disadvantage is
clear, you can niether see nor hear their initial reactions. The
reaction that you receive will be a delayed reaction, ie when you next
see your family, or when they have read and digested your letter they
will phone you. A lot can be learned from witnessing their initial
reaction, although some may prefer to only get a reaction once the
family have had some time to contemplate what you have told them.
You
might want to consider telling your family face to face, but afterwards
leave them with a letter that you had previously prepared. This would
ensure any points that you were not able to convey during the
conversation, were not missed altogether.
A Phone Call
This
method does not really apply too well to individuals who still live
with their family. Going out of the house to then phone back to the
house to tell them, only then to return to the house later, does not
seem the best option 
For
those living apart from their family, this could be considered.
However, if the family live relatively close by then I would suggest
telling them face to face, rather than down the phone, and only
consider the phone in the cases where family live at a distance and
visits are few and far between.
Using the phone to tell family still
involves having to talk to them, so if possible, going the extra step
and telling them face to face would be better. The phone obviously
stops you seeing their reaction, it is not always easy to get a true
understanding of someone's real feelings down the phone. I feel that a
phonecall to talk to your family about such a matter could also
trivialise the issue, which is obviously highly important in your life.
However, if this is the method that you feel suits you best, then of course do it this way.
When
it comes to telling other family members then a phone call or a letter
could be the best option and the easiest in some cases.
Clearly
this is an individual choice and there is no right or wrong. You must
go with the option that you feel is best for you. Remember in many
cases the reaction from family is very good, and in all cases, whatever
the reaction, you will feel a sense of relief from simply telling them.
What to Say?
When
you are telling your family take the time to explain to them that you
have made a decision in your life, explain that it is an informed
decision that you have made for yourself. You can explain some of your
reasons for selecting Islam. If appropriate you can thank them for
bringing you up in such a way that you have an interest in religion in
the first place. You can address any possible concerns that you think
they may have. You can reassure them that you are still the same
person, and that you will be trying to lead a life of high morals and
manners, a life that you hope will make them proud. You might decide to
explain a little about how your life will change from now on.
I
would suggest not going overboard with your words. Remember the main
objective here is to let them know of your decision and to add some
words that will help them to accept your decision and inshaAllah be
happy for you. It is not the objective to explain all the Islamic
teachings and convert them with your words, this can come with time
inshaAllah.
Whichever method you choose to tell your family this
has to be an individual choice of words. You will know the best way to
approach the subject with your parents. At the very least you are
prepared, you have considered what some of their concerns might be, and
you have thought of some possible solutions to these concerns. For
example, if they are worried that women are treated badly in Islam,
then you can explain the reality to them. So as far as you are able,
you are ready to deal with any misgivings they might have.
Don't
try and 'over prepare'. Don't spend too much time thinking 'what if
they say this..', 'what if they say that..'. Don't get too caught up in
this beforehand, you will find that once you start talking to them your
words will flow naturally with the help of Allah (swt).
Remember,
there is nothing wrong in not knowing the answer to a question. If your
family ask you a question and you do not know the answer, simply
aknowledge the question and let them know that you are not totally sure
and that you would like to find out for certain and then get back to
them. This could actually be an ideal opportunity to enable you to
bring up the topic of religion at a future date.
How to act during the discussion with your family.
As
a muslim you will of course be trying to conduct yourself in accordance
with Islam. You will be aware of the manners that a muslim must try to
show etc, you will be aware of the qualities of patience and
understanding. Most importantly you will be aware of the rights of your
parents and the way in which you should treat them.
Remember
that you should not raise your voice to your parents. Just show them
love and kindness throughout the discussion. If there are times when a
debate starts, as is often the case when discussing religion, remember
to speak calmly and softly, and remember to keep smiling 
Despite
your sincerity, you may still feel a little nervous at the start. Your
nerves may give an incorrect impression to your family, so try to
remain calm and composed, and inshaAllah the strength of your faith
will see you through your tough times.
Giving your family books
You
may want to have a couple of books to hand so that if appropriate you
can offer them to your family at the end of your discussion. InshaAllah
they will be interested to increase their understanding of the path you
have chosen.
Obviously, if you fear that they will disrespect the books, then ensure that you do not give them any that contain the Quran.
We Need Your Help to Help Others
Please,
if you are experiencing family problems that are not discussed on this
page, or the advice given here does not go far enough to solve your
problem, and you feel that you need some extra help then
please email us, we want to help you if we can.
Please,
if you feel that you want to talk to another convert and gain strength
from one another then please email us, we will put you in touch with
other converts, or we would be very happy to become email friends with
you ourselves.
If you have already talked to your family and you
have a success story to share then please let us know how you got on.
We would also appreciate receiving your helpful hints for others.
If
you have come through the experience of telling your family and would
like to help others then may Allah (swt) reward you for your kindness.
Please email us and we will link you up.
Ws..
Aminah.alqaem.org
www.aminah.shiahosting.com
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