Carmen - 1994-2007
Carmen, it's been a week now since we've said goodbye, but the emotions are fresh now as I remember how precious you were. I sincerely hope that you no longer hurt, and that you are eating lots of chicken, fish, steak, bones and leftover pizza on the doggie heaven floor.
Carmen was just 8 weeks ago when she came to me. Her first name was Dolly and she was the runt - the 9th puppy of a first litter. Her human breeders, who were leaving for Ireland days later, tried to convince me to choose one of the larger, wilder, male JRTs that remained. "It's never a good idea to pick the runt you know," they advised. "She could have major health problems." But I didn't. I chose Dolly, aka Carmen, and for many, many years - five to be exact :) - she was perfect.
Her fancy jack russell terrier pedigree papers showed her mama to be a long-legged JRT and her papa to be a short-legged JRT. They were racers and in her day, Carmen was very fast. Mitch was the only one to point out that her grandpa JRT and her great-grandpa JRT were in fact the same, Nasty-Ned. In hind-sight - probably not the best choice, but I'm not in the dog-breeding business.
Mitch and I began to date just days after Carmen came home with me. I suppose I will only find out now who the true love really is. I, for one, was madly in love with my first baby Carmen. I brought her everywhere and she obliged. I was getting an MBA at Darden, which had its laid back atmosphere in those days. She slept in my bag during classes, or entertained herself in the library as I worked. She caught her first squirrel between the library and the old law school. Much to my mother's absolute horror (I'm also surprised at myself now looking back) I had Carmen walk on the stage to receive my MBA diploma with me. Given Carmen's history that year at Darden, I don't really know how shocking it was to administration.
It took a year for Carmen to bark and become territorial, but it happened when I moved to Baltimore. Given that Carmen was such a small dog, it always seemed amusing to me. She made fast friends with a dog named Ashes, who according to her owner Mini, had no other friends because she was so mean. This became a constant in Carmen's life. Owners would say to me in shock, "gosh, your dog is the only one my dog doesn't bite. How odd." And in keeping with the business school trend, Carmen would accompany me on late nights or weekends to the office.
It's been actually quite healing for me to reminisce about Carmen's early years. She really filled my life with such joy. She needed to be walked about 3 miles a day in her younger years so I was much skinnier then too!
Carmen lost sight in one eye due to glaucoma at age five and suffered from high pressure in both eyes after that. It was painful, but she adjusted, and the $80 a month Xalatan medication was a bit painful for us. She was almost ten when she lost total sight in her other eye, and the doggie ophthalmologist recommended that we remove her lenses. Shocking as the concept was, she did seem to be much relieved of pain after that, and gained some of her confidence back. She would still occasionally chase squirrels and cats although she really never stood a chance.
Moving to Spain with Carmen was an ordeal. It was expensive and there was one particular vet at Friendship animal hospital didn't want to certify her papers because he couldn't assure us that she was in good health - I mean she was TWELVE! We needed to escalate those papers to a head vet at the USDA - no joke.
Carmen was a joy on the flight -as she has always been since she traveled with us in the cabin from a very young age. Only when the flight attendants stated beef or chicken, did the aggressive JRT awake from the bag beneath the seat. FEED ME NOW she barked.
We noticed Carmen's total deafness on arrival in Spain. There were fireworks almost every night back then and she didn't stir. Even during Las Fallas, which really sounds like incoming artillery confirmed by Mitch, she was silent and calm. It was only during meal times when she became increasingly aggressive. Had she been a bigger dog, we really think she would have learned to tie us up and steal all of the food.
Despite her obsession with food, and our weakness for giving it to her, Carmen died a mere seven pounds. She had lost almost half of her body weight in a year due to massive liver failure. She became increasingly incontinent and when she began to show pain, we knew we had to make the difficult decision.
In Spain, we were blessed with a very kind and competent vet (Richard) on la Avenida del Puerto. I know that Richard, the owner and the vet, wanted to keep Carmen alive as much as we did. He didn't think she would survive the flight home, but was all for us trying. However, he assured us that most dogs with livers like that would not still be alive.
I'm sure that all of us dog owners want our dogs to go peacefully in their sleep when it is their time. That was not our luxury. I hope Mitch won't be embarrassed that I share that we both bawled our eyes out as she went. We fed her tons of biscuits which she still ate and I tore myself up inside by the fact that we were putting her to sleep when she still had one source of pleasure left in her life.
Good bye my dear Carmen. There is a big part of you within us all, and there are so many that loved you. Your name was Benjamin's first word (CA) and despite his ability to say dog, doggie, perro and perrito, he still prefers to call dogs CAs
Carmen, we will miss you always.

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