Here's a wee little fact of life as I now know it.  When someone tells you they want basically blind faith and total support when they are doing something that you don't LIKE or WANT them to do and, out of LOVE you GIVE it to them...  NEVER let them find out how much you really HATE it because THEN you're screwed for LYING to them!!!

Apparently, my finally telling Kevin the truth of how I feel about the past almost 2 years of him working for the "Cult of Kirby" is quite likely the death knell of our relationship.  OMG it REALLY pissed him off to find out how much I hate Kirby.  He doesn't understand how I can feel that Luc and I are second in his life to a freaking vacuum cleaner.  He doesn't get that it's not the VACUUM that I object to, but that his NEED to prove everyone wrong by succeeding at his job WITH Kirby while we're freaking HOMELESS is what I truly object to.  The fact that it is more important to prove he can BE A SUCCESS and not "jump around from job to job" but instead stick it out with them no matter HOW it affects him (his personality has almost COMPLETELY changed in the past couple of years), Luc (who has turned from a happy, loving, mostly well adjusted child into a whining crying nightmare-ridden little boy) and myself (who has had to watch BOTH of their metamorphosis while trying to keep my OWN sanity somewhat in tact because THEY both needed me to "be there" and "be strong" for THEM while there has been pretty much nobody to be there for ME)!

So...  he called tonight and decided that we "needed to talk" which, needless to say, did NOT go well.  He is determined to have us "back home" and IN a home within "a few weeks" (yeah, um, and I'll believe THAT when I see it!) but after that he doesn't know if he even wants to TRY to salvage our relationship.  He says he still loves me, but doesn't know if he could continue on in a relationship with me.  He thinks I'm completely broken up over all of this (I am, as I feel he's ripped what little is left of my heart out and stomped on it) but more than that I'm majorly PISSED at him...  and the fact that he can't seem to understand this ticks me off even MORE.

I'm too pissed to keep writing now, so I'll see if I can make more sense of this tomorrow when I'm (hopefully) a wee bit calmer...