Welcome to the Kirby TEAM, where if you just remain POSITIVE, your golden dreams are right around the corner!!!
To start you off RIGHT, and let you know JUST what you are in for, please remember that when you applied for the job here, you most likely followed a MISLEADING ad in the paper! But don't worry, we're a TOTALLY honest company, we swear!
IF you make 15 appointments a week and bring back a bazillion referrals from EVERY appointment, we'll even PAY you for your first two weeks of training somewhere around $400 per week! Of course, our ESTABLISHED sales people DO get appointments first and then IF there are enough left over you MIGHT even get 15 of them! Oh and I'm SO sorry, but you didn't bring back ENOUGH referrals, so we can't pay you THIS week... but remember, STAY POSITIVE because your BIG BREAK could be just NEXT WEEK!
CONGRATULATIONS! You've made your FIRST SALE!!! Of course, it's a "low ball" sale, so you're only getting $100 and, since training is salary OR commission that's ALL you're getting... but it's a START on your way to the BIG BREAK which could be as soon as NEXT WEEK!
I know, you've had two weeks without a SINGLE sale, but don't WORRY! I know you'll find gas money SOMEHOW to make next week's appointments, because your BIG BREAK is right around the corner, if you just STAY POSITIVE!
WOW! You've had an AMAZING week! 5 sales and only ONE fell through! Here ya go, have about $1000! See? Just keep it up and ALL your DREAMS will come true!
What? You say you miss spending time with your family? They don't really LIKE you working 70-80 hours a week? Weekends and holidays? Well, just STAY POSITIVE because they'll LOVE it when the BIG BUCKS start rolling in! THEN you'll have PLENTY of time to spend with them!
HUH??? Your wife and son are sick? Well sorry, you KNOW you don't have medical insurance OR sick days, so what are WE supposed to do about it? What??? Um, sorry you haven't made enough sales to have ANY money to pay for a doctor but remember, STAY POSITIVE, because you'll do better NEXT WEEK!
What? You say your wife has lost so much weight because she doesn't eat to make sure there's enough for your son to eat she's down 4 dress sizes? Cheer up! Remind her that, when you DO make it big that's the PERFECT excuse to get a whole new wardrobe! Just remember to STAY POSITIVE and you'll make it BIG in no time!
You say your son barely recognizes you any more and your wife has forgotten what it's like to talk with you and snuggle and such? Well then, you just REMIND her that you're doing ALL THIS so you can MAKE IT BIG and give them a BETTER LIFE! Remind her that they have to BE POSITIVE for you, so that you can concentrate on making those sales! I just KNOW your BIG BREAK is coming if you just BELIEVE and WORK HARD!
Huh? Your utilities have been cut off, your car repossessed, and your landlord is evicting you because you haven't been able to pay rent in three months??? Don't worry! All it'll take is a bit MORE time and effort and I just KNOW that you'll make it BIG in NO TIME at all! Remember to BE POSITIVE and everything will be FINE!
Oh, don't WORRY! I know you haven't been making sales but we're a business that's NOT affected by the economy! Even when people are worried about losing their homes, putting food on their table and gas in their cars they're MORE than happy to drop $1000 to $2000 on a vacuum cleaner as WONDERFUL as they Kirby! You're just having a bad run of luck is all! Don't worry it will ALL be better NEXT WEEK
Wow! You mean you LOST your home and your wife and son got sent clear across the country to live with some friends who could put them up because their ONLY other option was a shelter? How truly AWFUL for you! You must miss those 3 or 4 hours you spend with them DREADFULLY! But CHEER UP and STAY POSITIVE, because you'll be making the BIG BUCKS any day now and then you can bring them home and all live happily ever after!
You just have to BE POSITIVE and BELIEVE...
Yeah, right... I believe in FAERIES more than I believe the Cult of Kirby propaganda!
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