The god Apollo pursues the nymph Daphne into the woods. He is in love with her, but Daphne - who is always being courted by everyone - can no longer bear her own splendour and calls on the gods to help her, saying:

"Destroy this beauty that never allows me any peace."

The gods heard Daphne’s plea and transform her into a tree. Apollo cannot find her, for she is now merely part of the vegetation.

Daphne behaved in a way that is familiar to us all: we often destroy our own talents because we do not know what to do with them.

The mediocrity of being ‘just another person’ is more comfortable than the struggle to reveal everything we are capable of, using the gifts that God gave us.

Painful truth isn't it?

Yesterday, we had a meeting in our school. The Directress mentioned about the migration of teachers to the US. I felt guilty. Indeed I was. With the condition the Philippines is undergoing excluding the rampant corruption, I don't think I am alone in my thoughts of seeking a greener pasture somewhere far beyond the seas of the archipelago. Even teachers from Ateneo where the highest paid teachers so far academe reside has lost 30 teachers last year due to migration.

I have been very vocal eversince about my plans. I mean, all plans but no concrete future as of the moment. The agency where I forwarded my application said my papers are okay, but that's it. No job order yet. And what if I do not pass the interview? And what if my papers are okay but others' papers are far from being just a plain okay?

I mean, with the competition in the market, this can be anybody else's game.

What is then the connection of the story of Daphne here to what I am feeling right now? It is this:

The Directress told us to lay our cards. Stop playing safe -- signing the contract of commitment for a year but leaving in the middle of the school year. Students will be at a loss. Adjustment problems may arise. Poor Filipino students.

Before yesterday, I was Daphne, playing safe. Avoiding the responsibility of making a choice. In my mind, I was dreaming for big distant stars shooting before me without making a move.

I thought, too, I was just a struggling teacher in a simple town somewhere here in the Philippines, might even be unknown to the world, how can I be at par with other teachers in big cities?

Oh well, I almost wish I never had that dream of writing a book and putting up a school for kids with special needs.

But then again, after the meeting yesterday and reading Paulo Coelho's Daily Message post last January 8, I have changed perspective.

I am pursuing for my star.

And hell, I will!

Please take a moment to relax your mind and humble your heart to focus on Christ.  Allow God to be the only person in your mind while you read this prayer I have received from my sister in law through my yahoo mail.  If we can take the time to read long jokes, stories, etc. We should give the same respect to this prayer.

Dear Lord, I thank you for this day.

I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.  

I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God.  

You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.  

Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.  

I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.  

Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.  

Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can  hear from You.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.  

Let me continue to see sin through Your eyes and acknowledge it as evil.

And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth  of my wrongdoing, and receive forgiveness.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray.  

It's  the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.  

I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.  

Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak.  

Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.  

I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way.

I pray for those who are misjudged and  misunderstood.

I pray for those who don't know You intimately.  

I pray for those who don't believe.  

But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that You change people and You change things for good reasons.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers.  

For each and every one of my family members and friends and their families.  

I  pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than You.  

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.  

I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.

This is my prayer.

In Jesus' name.  Amen.

This is a delayed entry but I will post it anyway.

Last December when my family and I dropped by in Baguio for the weekend, I cannot help but drag my feet to the bookstore where books are sold cheap. You know it's the holidays and giving gifts becomes a little bit expensive. I told myself, "Oh well, this I have to give to myself."

But on the other hand, I feel a little bit guilty buying some more books when I have a dozen more on my shelf still neatly covered with plastic, unopened and of course, unread.

Time passed by so quickly that we have to drive back home. And for the nth time I shove the thought of going to that tempting store to buy some more books.

My hubby must have noticed my eyes always glancing over my shoulder to that side of the mall. He told me, "I still have a thousand, you can have it."

Without a second word, I hugged him, got the money he was waving infront of my face and ran towards the bookstore. I was almost literally salivating like a Pavlov dog upon the sight of still unopened boxes of new arrivals with red bold letters stuck on its upper side: "FOR SALE"

In less than an hour, I unpacked the books. In less than two hours, I have read most of their back covers and have picked up four books to buy -- all Best Sellers at Php 100.00 each. Then I have listed a few "Book Buys" in my pocket notebook for future reference. And here is my book list:

(I will later on buy)

1. Interpreter of Maldies
2. Tom Clancy collection (I want it hard bound)
3. Robert Ludlum novels (hard bound, too)
4. The Namesake
5. The Shopaholic Series by Sofie Kinsella
6. Poetry Collection of Walter Whittman (my poetry.net friend once told me some of my poems sound like him)

(I got hold of)

1. The Edge of Reason (the triumphant sequel to the best selling Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding)
2. The Weight of Water by Anita Shreve
3. By The Shore by Galaxy Craze
4. Back When We Were Grown-ups by Anne Tyler

After I paid the said books, I asked myself, "When will I be able to write my book review of these books?

Oh well, hope you can wait 'til I have the luxury of time.

I was talking about some insanity spurts you can do to make your life more laughable; which in the process can help you achieve a healthier disposition in life just before I logged off for the holidays.

Oh well, didn't I mention that?

Okay, now… I just did!

And last week, I by passingly mentioned Zedka in Coelho's novel, Veronika Decides to Die. In the story, Veronika of course committed suicide and was brought in an asylum at Villete because during her time, anyone who was not behaving like any other people did was considered a loony. And they consider suicide as one of the "abnormal" behaviors.

Veronika then met Zedka inside the mental hospital. They became constant speaking partners. I used the term to indicate not friendship but just two people sharing ideas and words, sometimes even nonsensical.

The first time they spoke, Zedka tried to clarify Veronika in her question:

"What does it mean to be crazy?"

Zedka said:

"Anyone who lives in her own world is crazy. Like schizophrenics, psychopaths, maniacs. I mean people who are different from others.

"On the other hand, you have Einstein, saying that there was no time or space, just a combination of the two. Or Columbus, insisting that on the other side of the world lay not an abyss but a continent. Or Edmund Hillary, convinced that a man could reach the top of the Everest. Or the Beatles, who created an entirely different sort of music and dressed like people from another time. Those people – and thousands of others – all lived in their own world."

"A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad."

"The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policemen and the inspectors, however, had also drank the poisoned water, and they thought that the king's decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them."

"When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard about these decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. they marched on the castle and called for his abdication."

"In despair, the king prepared to step down from the throne, but the queen stopped him, saying: 'Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then we will be the same as them.'

"And that was what they did: The king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately began talking nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country?"

"The country continued to live in peace, although its inhabitants behaved very differently from those of its neighbors. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days."

With this story, Veronika laughed. And I bet, I laughed harder than she did.

Nuts?

Really absurd!

And then later on in the story, Zedka defined insanity as the inability to communicate one's ideas.

"It's as if you were in a foreign country, able to see and understand everything that's going on around you but incapable of explaining what you need to know or of being helped, because you don't understand the language they speak there."

We have all felt that way once or twice – to some, maybe even more than what "normal" people may perceive the usual.

And basing it from the definition shared by Zedka, one way or another, all of us are insane.

I honestly am – everytime I keep myself inside myself, shouting… screaming… when there is no voice.

I honestly am – each moment I talk to my Mom… sharing her my dreams, my achievements, my fears and my failures, when she had died more than three years ago.

I honestly am – in those times I smile to myself when my kids come across my mind.

I honestly am – in moments when I shiver in Ronald's imagined touch or with him just staring at me kilometers away from home.

I honestly am – in every strike of my fingertips when I write my blogs and my memory lags down a decade.

I honestly am – .won od I tahw ekil sdrawkcab sgniht od I nehw (when I do things backwards like what I do now.)    

It's fun you know… try it and be hilariously stupid. And have a healthy life!

Suggestions:

1.                  dress before putting on your undies (saves you from using some liners)

2.    drink a lot of water before you eat (at least you don't eat much)

3.    gurgle, chew some toothpaste then brush your teeth (cool, right?)

4.    sleep in the morning and be an owl while your family is snoring (argh!)

5.    walk to your office with your back (I did this when they told me the back of my haircut looks nice and awful in the front)

Have a hilarious day everyone!!!

An old children’s story tells of Miss Cockroach, who found a coin as she was sweeping out her house.

After a long time spent at her window, choosing the right mate to accommodate all her fears and anxieties, she ended up marrying John Shrew. And as everyone knows, John Shrew fell in the stew.

Often in our lives, we find a coin that has been given to us by fate, and we believe it to be the one treasure of our lives. We end up placing so much value on that one thing that fate - the same fate that gave us the coin - decides to take it back.

Those who are afraid of making a choice, always choose wrongly.

Oh hi everyone!

Happy New Year!!!

Was I late for the greeting?

Geeezzzz… it has been three weeks since I last posted an entry. And damn you’re right, I missed blogging. But I am in so far so good state of being me because the times I didn’t blog, I spent with my kids.

You remember I wrote about Gabrielle who was almost hospitalized because of pneumonia? Oh well, she was sick during the holidays. You can just imagine how awful she looked like when she started throwing up all her food intake on Christmas day and the following day had loose anal excretions. She was pale and lost really a lot of weight. We brought her back to her pedia and she suggested we bring her to the hospital. But we begged not to. She gave us another two days. Her vomiting stopped but her bowel is still loose. Her pedia can’t increase the dosage of her medication because she was too young and she can’t give her another prescription because of her G6PD deficiency. Medications for such are very limited because there are certain chemicals that are not recommended due to adverse reactions to her system. So she just extended her medication.

Fortunately, the drug cured her. Now, she’s back to being such an active kid. Thank God.

But I was really so worried during the holidays.

It all started with the pneumonia stuff and when I attended the Christmas Party in my Graduate School. Let me relate the spooky story that triggered the hell out of me…

Since it is a Christmas Party, I thought of dropping by the cake store to buy some goodies for my thesis adviser. While my friend and I are on my way to the venue, we met my adviser and we headed towards the graduate college building. Before reaching the entrance, Dr. Neroza stopped and seemed like looking for something/someone. Then she said, “Now where is that little girl you are with?”, looking at me questioningly.

Ate Weng and I said that we were not with a kid. It was just the two of us who approached her.

But she insisted, “No, you are with a little girl about this tall (gesturing beside my hip) and was in pink spaghetti strap blouse and was walking right beside you. I even looked at her for a moment because she was so cute and she smiled at me.”

Oh, hey… I can’t describe my feeling that time. I had goose bumps all over me and I started to melt like a candle. My knees are quivering and I can feel my body like cold ice. I was pale.

I remembered Gabrielle who is still not feeling well that day but seemed okay. Her diaper leaked when we woke up so I changed her nappies and clothes to a pink spaghetti strapped dress.

My friends prayed over me and bid me to go home. I ran through the bus like I was chased by dozens of demons. And when I reached home and saw my little angel smiling back at me, I exhaled the demons out of me.

A dear friend told me that maybe, Gaby had an astral journey. She wanted me beside her so she traveled along with me so she is with me everywhere I went. So right after school was over for the holidays, I promised myself to stop and focus all my attention to my kids.

Hey, I wasn’t a believer of such premonitions and astral journeys, but I guess the experience taught me one great lesson. And now, I am starting to enjoy reading books on the topic, too. Coincidentally, Coelho’s book which I am currently reading entitled Veronika Decides to Die, Zedka, one of the characters, experienced astral journey. Her soul leaves her body for a while and travels else where – where she wants to go. She had learned too the techniques of separating her soul from her body and have astral travel.

Oh well, I would relate the story in another entry. But for the meantime, I want to say: The Blogger is in!

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they will slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

7. Don't use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

10. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

15. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom.

16. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

18. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... Send me ways you maintain your own.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Hope you maintain your insanity this season so that happiness shall be untarnished with the worries of the world!

Happiness is your choice... Hope you choose the right thing!

See you next year... Gotta sign off for the Holidays.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

When he died, Juan found himself in an exquisite place surrounded by all the comfort and beauty he had always dreamed of. A amn dressed in white spoke to him:

“You can have anything you want, any food, any pleasure, any diversion,” he said.

Delighted, Juan did everything he had dreamed of doing while alive. Then after many years of pleasure, he again searched out the man in white.

“I have done everything I wanted to do. Now I need a job, so that I can feel useful,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” replied the man in white. “But that is the one thing I can’t give you. There is no work here.”

“How awful!” said Juan angrily, “That means I’ll spend eternity bored to death! I wish I was in Hell!”

The man in white came over to him and said softly: “And where exactly do you think you are, Sir?”

The Woman more often fights with those she loves than with those she does not care about.

The Woman who shields her love ones is never overthrown by the turmoil of living. Her light is strong enough to shine through thick clouds of struggles and shares that light to others.

She does, however, is often confronted with inevitable circumstances humans call trials but for her is just a variety of blessings. She tries to transfer these thoughts to her kin, that when her soul may part from her body, somebody else's light will continue to scintillate. In so doing, she inflames her family and friends into discussion. Mind versus mind. View versus view. Until her mind is no longer hers but her family's. Until her view is no longer just her own, but her friends', too.

Check out the whole verse in http://marjo-lifeinamirror.blogspot.com

Happy weekday everyone!!!

Pieces fall

blocks of varied shapes

drop

in their destined place;

Player

curses for a bad move

rejoices at times

when that piece

reaches the ground,

screwed up

or just right.

Experience Tetris

in your life.